If You Love an Author

Look. I’m going to be really frank here, because I think we’ve been friends long enough that I can do that. And if we haven’t, I hope you’ll bear with me for a minute, because this is really important.

If there is an author in your life, and that person happens to be important to you on ANY level, but especially in a familial or close relationship, there are some things you should know.

I’ve avoided this subject for a while, for various reasons, one of them being an inherent belief that I have no business telling someone how to love anyone else. But in a recent moment of clarity, I realized that that is not what I’m about to do. What I’m telling you isn’t how you should love them, but rather, the most important way you ought to be showing that love. Because authors are emotional, sensitive people who pour those emotions and those sensitivities into our work for the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD to read.

What we write is so much more than just words on a page, or a screen, or in a book. These stories often come from the very depth of our souls, distributing pieces of ourselves to everyone who reads them. Luckily, for every slice of ourselves we give away, we grow new, grander ones to share.

Since we are writing to share our deepest, most intimate souls, the hope is we will be joined in this special place by our closest, most beloved people in the world. Our spouses. Our children. Our parents, siblings, extended families, and closest friends.  

Because our stories mean so very much to us, it’s difficult to understand why our loved ones wouldn’t be absolutely dying to read our newest (or oldest) work. But all too often, our loved ones aren’t even interested. And that lack of interest, of support—to us—translates to a lack of personal value.

If you love an author—for whatever reason and in whatever capacity—read their work. I don’t care if you buy it, tweet it, Facebook it, share it, talk about it, or even review it (all of which you should ALSO be doing, but that’s another blog). READ IT. Do not offer explanations or excuses about why you “can’t” or tell them you’ll get to it when you have more time (next year, perhaps?). You might as well be telling them you “can’t” find the time to love them. (And let’s not talk about how short life really is here.)

FACT: Time it takes the average author to write a book = 6 months to one YEAR  .

FACT: Time it takes the average reader to read that same book = 4-6 HOURS (7 if it’s long or you’re a slow reader).

FACT: The average American wastes approximately that much time every week (if not every day) watching TV and/or surfing the internet.

If you love an author, value the time they have spent dedicating themselves to their stories. Read his or her work. Do not make excuses. We are smart people. And you are missing out on the best parts of us.

And that, my dear friends, would be the saddest story of all. 

Romance and Love or Everything Else? What Are You Reading This Week?

Release week is over, and I was overwhelmed and so touched by the outpouring of love and support I received for Water So Deep. I cannot tell you all how much it means to me to have all of you jumping in to help raise my new baby book.

But now I feel like I've talked about it nonstop for months, and it's time to talk about something else. Like love and Valentine's Day.

I mean, let's face it. Valentine's Day has become a bit of a commercialized cliche, which is focused more on kids than on adults who are actually in love. I think in a lot of ways it's better this way because then all those people who are unattached can still enjoy the day, seeing little kids sharing their candy and cards. But that still doesn't take away the sting of feeling invisible or forgotten.

That's the beauty of reading, though, I think. I am such a sucker for a good old fashioned romance novel. And not the Nicholas Sparks kid of ending, either. Happy endings. Boy gets the girl or girl gets the boy, or whatever whatever, and the couple falls in love and overcomes all odds and obstacles because in the end they belong together. That is my favorite Valentine's Day reading go-to.

Because kissing. And love. And all things romantic.

(Side note: if you're reading Water So Deep right now, please don't hate me at the end! I promise book two will bring closure!)

This week, I'm reading Joyce DiPastena's The Lady and the Minstrel, Ally Condie's Atlantia, and This Shattered World by Aimee Kaufman and Meagan Spooner. I won't finish all three in a week, because I have a deadline of my own, but still. Those are on my nightstand right now.

What will you be reading this week? And is it romance and love or everything but that? I'm curious.

Everyone Is Angry

I feel a great disturbance in the force over the last few months. Not for any one reason in particular, but maybe for a combination of many. It seems like everywhere I look, every news article or social media feed has become about choosing sides on one issue or another.

Politics. Sports. Industry. Religion. One side must be right while the other side is wrong, and SO MANY people who normally might not speak out are shouting at the top of their lungs, crying foul! Because someone, somewhere, did something or said something that offends a personal sensibility, so we must share our opinions. Let us ALL share our thoughts on Amazon vs Hatchett, or Kate Kelly vs the LDS Church, or whether or not adults should read YA books. Let’s discuss industry jealousy, and politics and politicians, and, oh yes, what about the death penalty? While we’re at it, let’s discuss everything at once because we. Are. Angry.

Everyone is so angry. And eventually, anger becomes bitterness, which turns into hatred. And hatred, no matter how it forms or where it comes from, becomes misery. Wide-spread hatred becomes wide-spread misery.

It feels like everyone in the world is fighting over something. It’s exhausting, really. Because no matter the issue or which side on which you stand, there will never be a point where your view or your take is proven true. It’s an endless circle of discontent.

Granted, it’s not all about being proven right or wrong. In most cases battles are about making change, and I am an advocate for change. Change is good. Always. In most cases, change makes things better, even if it means going through growing pains for a while.

But people, do we really have to be at war with one another? Do we really have to spread venom and hate and anger throughout the world, just because our own emotions are high? Aren’t we, as compassionate, understanding human beings better than animals fighting over a kill?

I think we are. I think we should be. And I think it’s up to us to remember that, and to decide to take a step back, catch a breath, and focus on the good, the positive.

Today, when I was leaving the gas station after my daily Dr. Pepper stop, a gentleman held the door for me. At the grocery store, a little boy smiled shyly and waved. This afternoon, I have had texts from three separate long-distance friends telling me they miss me. My daughter borrowed my car last night, and while she was out, she filled up my gas tank and saved me the trouble of doing it myself.

There are kind gestures, sweet thoughts, beautiful, wonderful things happening all around us, and when we focus on those things rather than the ones that make us angry, I think it’s easier to remember how it feels to be happy. To be individual. To be free.

I vote we stop spreading anger and start spreading love instead. Let’s work on restoring the balance of the force, shall we?

Where I Was Standing

Word is spreading about my publisher’s recent announcement that they are closing. I have only had days to process, and because there are a lot of details and options to sift through, I can’t tell you with any certainty what will happen next with my newly released baby, DESCENDANT. (But don’t worry—I won’t let it just disappear!)

I’ve remained relatively quiet about this news because frankly, I’m a bit in shock. Less than a week previous to receiving this notification, my publisher and I discussed details about me turning in the sequel to DESCENDANT, which is about finished. Also, the way I found out was… less than ideal.

You see, I was at WorldCON, a science fiction and fantasy convention which happened to be held in San Antonio this year. It was midnight, and I was attending a social gathering, surrounded by other authors, fans, readers, and generally AWESOME people. At some point, amongst our giggling and chatting, I pulled out my phone to friend one of my new acquaintances on Facebook and my eye landed on a notice in the private Rhemalda Authors Facebook group. I won’t go into details, but I will just say the notice was lengthy, detailed, and devastating. And yes, I saw it first on Facebook.

Standing in a dark room, surrounded by excessively happy people, the floor fell out from under me. And for a few very long seconds, I couldn’t breathe.

I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but I handed my phone to a friend, who whispered something to my brother and cousin (who both awesomely accompanied me to the Convention—along with my awesome friend), and then all these arms enveloped me in a giant group hug while I cried.

When the fog lifted and the arms were removed, a swarm of supportive people joined in. Not just my family, but so many other supportive people, some of whom hardly knew me at all, but who were genuinely concerned for my welfare and happiness. Everyone in that place hugged me at some point, even though few of them knew why.

I received support from a woman who works for a company specializing in publicity, from a number of successful authors, from a Hugo winning artist, and also an editor. I was serenaded with a Monty Python sketch, and saluted, and cheered on, and held up until the tears turned to laughter, and my feet somehow found the floor again.

That night, a friend reminded me that there are no mistakes, only happy accidents. And by the time he said it, I knew that no matter what road I choose from here, I am going to be okay. My career is still moving forward, and I can still look forward to celebrating enormous success.   

The world righted itself because I realized that no matter what happens, I will never have to stand alone.

In the days that followed, I received more proof in the form of messages, phone calls, texts, and emails and so much verbal support I almost can't keep up with it. 

There will be news in the future, and soon I will go through the painful process of making decisions and figuring out details. But for now, I am more than okay. I am amazing and wonderful and zen. I’m happy with all my future possibilities. And I attribute that in large part to where I was standing when I got the news, and where I continue to stand daily. Completely surrounded by love.

Fun Stuff and a Thought About Love

This week, I’m diving into planning fun events leading up to the release of my book, Descendant. The first in a long string of fun things, Giselle at Xpresso Reads is coordinating my cover reveal for March 4^th. Anyone can sign up, and there is no limit to how many people can participate. If you’re interested, you can sign up here.

I’m also working on bookmarks, posters, and other fun swag. What does this mean? Uh, prizes. Contests. Chances to win. And maybe, possibly teasers. Exclusive stuff. Not announcing any other dates yet, but working on it, so stay tuned.

*takes a moment to jump up and down squealing*

Please forgive my excitement. It’s just that I thought this day might never come, and it’s ALMOST HERE! And I intend to celebrate in a very big way. I hope you will all join me.

On a different subject, last weekend, a very dear friend of mine came to visit me in Texas. She knows I’ve been feeling a little homesick for my Utah people, and so she did what only the best of friends would do. She bought a last minute plane ticket, and came to hang out for a couple way-too-short days.

And even though I shed a few tears when she left, her visit was so good for me. Because no matter where we live or what we spend our time doing, everyone needs to feel loved sometimes. Not just by our spouses or children (although, that’s also really important), but by other people who matter to us. We all need to be reminded that, regardless of how it sometimes feels, we are not alone.    

So, with that thought in mind, what have you done recently to show someone special that you love them?

Books are Still For Lovers

Last year, my friend Lisa put together Books are for Lovers, a sort-of support campaign aimed at brick and mortar bookstores. And let’s face it, bookstores need love too. I don’t think anyone wants to see physical bookstores disappear from society, even if we read more e-books than regular ones.

Ink and paper books just have a distinctly special smell, a texture that cannot be imitated, and the experience of reading one is completely different from that of reading an electronic book.

So this Valentine’s Day, we encourage you to treat yourself, and maybe even those you love, to a real ink and paper book from a brick and mortar store. Barnes and Noble, independent bookstores, wherever your community goes to buy books in person.

I’m going. Not sure what I’ll choose, but I have a list of books I’d love to read, so we’ll see what I can find. The question is how many will come home with me.

If you participate, be sure to stop by and tell me what you bought! Oh, and also, visit Lisa’s blog and enter the Books are for Lovers contest.

Speaking of lovers, being the hopeless and ridiculous romantic that I am, I love Valentine’s Day. Not because I receive expensive gifts or get to eat out (though, that does happen on rare occasions), but because I love when people express their love for others. I love to give my kids a special little something—even if it’s just a chocolate bar. I don’t need an excuse, of course, but having a day designated for that expression is sometimes a good reminder for people, and the truth is, I think we all need reminders sometimes.

So tell me, what are you doing for the people you love this week?

10 Things that Make Me Happy at Christmas Time

1.       Time with my family

2.       The glow of softly twinkling lights lighting up the world

3.       Holiday music

4.       Hearing people wish complete strangers a merry Christmas (or happy holidays, or whatever)

5.       Reading holiday stories

6.       Wrapping thoughtful gifts in pretty paper

7.       Making and giving holiday treats

8.       Finding that perfect item to give a special person in your life

9.       Little children anticipating Christmas morning

10.   Being reunited with family members from far away.

My son is coming to town this weekend, and I am so excited to have my family all together for the first time since we left Utah. He’s never been to our new home in Texas, and I’m both nervous and excited to show him around. With the holiday and family time, please forgive me for not blogging next week.

I hope you have a beautiful, wonderful, fun-filled, merry Christmas. Sending you love from our little town in Texas!  

Filling Up the Cracks

This weekend, one of my online friends shared a statement made by her nine-year-old . The beautiful words were passed on by a number of people because of the profound simplicity of this child’s words. 

Sarah Eden’s daughter said, “When your heart is broken, you choose what to fill up the cracks with. Love or Hate. But hate can never heal. Only love can do that.”

I think now is a really good time of year to spread some love. Actually, there’s never a bad time to spread love. It is, after all, what makes the world go round, right?

So let’s share some ideas.

I’m a fan of angel trees, Toys-for-Tots, Sub-for Santa, and any assistance we can give to homeless shelters and food banks. Small donations don’t take much, and are a good way to contribute to the community.

Or, on a more personal level, spread some kindness and cheer by smiling more, saying kind words, and noticing the distress of others around you. Everyone benefits from small acts of kindness.

What are you doing to spread the love this week?

Christmas Glitter Notes Pictures

Change is Coming

I don't do this very often, but this week, I'm feeling a bit melancholy, and when that happens, sometimes, the result is poetry. Hope you don't mind if I indulge in sharing here. 

Change is Coming

This week the last of the leaves are turning

Preparing to drift to the ground

A layer of snow dusts the mountain tops

Preparing to stay for the winter

Farmers harvest their fields

Gardeners clip back their plants

People dust off their coats and boots

Getting ready for the temperatures to drop

Animals store their winter supplies

And build sturdy nests to keep them warm

While birds form flocks

And fly south.

The north wind blows

Bringing cold air and change

And a lone whistle sings

That winter is coming.

While families huddle close

Knowing changes in weather

Cannot steal love’s warmth

No matter where they live.

Are you ready?

Have a lovely weekend, and I hope you'll take time to notice the beauty resulting from seasonal changes. I know I will.  

What Sets You Free?

I’ve been thinking about courage, and how much it takes for us to do those big things I talked about in this post.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I manage to find my courage because I know that no matter how many times I fail, there are certain people in my life who will be there anyway.

Those people have kept me going when I wanted to quit, and held my hand to prevent me from falling into the dark, black pit of doom. People who love me, and who I love. And that love—that’s the thing that gives me the freedom to search for more, push boundaries, travel new roads, and do other hard things.

That clichéd phrase about love setting you free? Not such a cliché, actually. Because in love, there’s a degree of freedom that you can’t get from anywhere else. Or, well, this is truth for me.

What about you? What sets you free?

Do It Anyway

I've always been into positive thinking. You know, that whole believe in yourself and you can do anything...thing.

And I do believe it. I believe I can, and you can, and my kids can. We all have opportunities to succeed, to do big things, to become better people. We all have the opportunity to succeed, even if that success is preceded a thousand failures.

But we have to take those opportunities, and we have to be willing to fail. We have to try out before we can be cut from or make a team, and audition before we can get the part, and we have to apply for a job before we are hired.

We have to be okay with learning how to pick ourselves up out of a hole of destruction and rebuild our lives. Or our self confidence. Or whatever. You know what I mean.

I am willing. Always. Because this is the way dreams are discovered.




What are you willing to do for your dreams?

The Body Language of Love

Last Friday I talked about the TV show Lie To Me, and a bit about the body language of lying. So I thought this week I’d counteract that post with a similar one about something a little more positive. Something like, I don’t know, how about the little tells that let us know someone loves us?

Only this time, I’m not using a TV show as a reference. *gulps*

Okay. A handful of tells. A softness of face, light in eyes when one person looks at another. Touch. The magnetic pull that draws one person to another. Leaning (you know what that is, right?). Defensive reactions to the looks or comments of others. A certain willingness to sacrifice certain personal comforts (or safety).

I’m a naturally affectionate person. A hugger, if you will. To me, touch is part of personalizing a relationship. So keep that in mind. And I think that the way one person touches another is a huge tell. Proprietary touches versus friendly touches versus, well, a handshake. There’s a definite difference.

What do you think? Can you see how someone loves another by the way they act or interact with each other? How?

Happy Valentine's Day! (Books are for Lovers)

May you have buckets of love this week!

Books are for lovers. Let's show our love for brick and mortar bookstores by purchasing an actual book on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2012.

Me in Ten

I’ve done posts like this before. And for those of you who’ve been around for a while, please forgive the repeat. I’ve picked up a lot of new readers this year, so I figure it’s time to do a sort of get-to-know-ya post. Yeah?

Okay.

1. I’m older than I look, younger than my age, different than you think.

2. Four kids (one who will be graduating from high school this spring), and two golden retrievers all call me Mom. (Okay, the dogs don’t actually talk, but ya know.)

3. If it sparkles, I’ll like it. Also, if it’s colorful.

4. I live in the Utah mountains, but hope to someday move to a place with sand, water, and palm trees.

5. I’m an author (see sidebar or click the my books link above) of two small press books, and intend to break into the YA national market very soon.

6. I type fast and read fast, but the stories in my head evolve slowly.

7. I believe that love conquers all and that determination can help us overcome all obstacles, and compassion should be part of our daily decisions (maybe a little too idealistic, but that’s me in a nutshell).

8. Driving with my convertible top down is my preference. Even if it’s raining. But I don’t like to be cold, so not in snow.

9. I have four parents and ten siblings, not including the in-laws on either side. Also, over a hundred aunts, uncles, and cousins and three-living grandparents. Yep. Makes for some crazy family gatherings. I like it that way.

10. Travelling = yes please. Whenever and wherever I can, I love to go, go, go. Adventure included? Thanks!

There you have it. Me in 10 statements. If you’re a new reader (or not) feel free to tell me a few things about you. Let’s get to know each other!

Merry, Merry, Merry

Christmas!

A special song for a special day. I love, love, love this arrangement. Always have.



Today, I wish for you happiness, love, and time to spend with the important people in your life.
Hugs and kisses, from me to you.

**I'm taking this next week off to be with my family. Please join me again after the New Year. Thanks for reading!**

Where Are You Christmas?

This one I love, partly because my daughter plays it on the piano and I love that sound, but also because I feel like this a lot during the holidays. Sometimes we get so caught up in buying, and spending, and crazy time sucks, that we forget what we’re celebrating and why.

Also, I think we can all learn a lot from the Grinch.

So for today’s selection, I give you Faith Hill and Where Are You Christmas.

Love, not War (or Asteroids vs. Mrs. Pacman)

The other day I went to the launch for Heather Justesen’s newest book, Blank Slate, after which a few of us had dinner at an old-school pizzeria. Not only did we actually have to wait for our pizza after we ordered it (I know, crazy, right?) but as I walked into the dining room to have a seat, I found myself surrounded by upright arcade games (ala 1980’s) and a real-live jukebox.

In that moment, I was transported back in time to the childhood in which Asteroids was the ultimate in science fiction, and Ms. Pacman was the epitome of romance.

Am I right? I mean, come on. The Asteroids ship didn’t even move across the bottom of the screen (did it?). You had to have good aim and a quick trigger finger, or there was no way you were making it through space alive. And dying was the ultimate humiliation—no matter your age (just ask my parents and grandparents).

Many family wars have been credited to that game.

Alternately, when you finally made it through level two of Ms. Pacman, even hanging on with one measly life left, the whole effort was worth it when you got to see the uber-romantic chase/kiss scene.

Maybe it’s just me. But romance has always been my thing. And clearly it doesn’t take a lot to woo me. Sometimes, in writing, in life, as well as in arcade games, it’s the small and simple things that make all the difference. Like a silly two-dimensional kiss scene between pizza-head characters.

Oh! Oh. I know. It’s “making love, not war” in terms of Asteroids and Ms. Pacman.

*giggles*

What small and simple things really matter to you?

The Challenge

In case you live in a cave and don’t have a calendar (I have two, thanks to Raylene and Tiffany), February, the month of love, is officially here.

*gasps, coughs, gasps again*

Believe it or not, for all my talk of love over the last couple weeks, I’m not completely obsessed with Valentine’s day. To be honest, I spend most years in the camp of this-is-a-media-hyped-holiday-invented-for-retailers-to-make-money.

*hides behind large item to avoid possible flying objects*

It’s not what you think. I (obviously) believe in love, and I feel that thoughtful gestures like flowers and candy and jewelry are completely romantic. But. Don’t you think it’s sad that so many of us need to have a holiday (or anniversary for a big occasion) to remind us to make those kinds of gestures?

Almost like we need an excuse to tell the important people in our lives that we love them. What’s wrong with us? And really. Do our kids need another excuse to eat candy?

Don’t get me wrong. I know that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a celebration of love, rather than a reminder that we love people and should give them stuff. But sometimes it feels like February 14th is less about who loves us and why, and more about what someone gave you, and what you gave to them—or to someone else entirely. Doesn’t it? Is it just me? Really?

So, I’m issuing a challenge. Pick a day of the month, then find some way to quietly, sincerely express your love to the important people in your life. Children, spouse, parents, friends—whoever. (More than words, though. I’m talking about gestures.) Mark this day on your calendar. Then flip to March, and mark the same day there. Then April, May, June…you get the idea. And then, when those days come, be sure to follow through.

Maybe, if we get in the habit of regularly expressing our love, we’ll stop needing reminders. Or, I don’t know. Maybe not. It’s just an idea.

So, what do you say? Are you in?

What Does Love Mean to You?

Last week’s post about love conquering all brought up some interesting points. Especially because everyone has such a different way of looking at things. While all the points were valid, some of the more negative ones made me wonder something.

What does the word love mean to you?

Clearly, everyone defines it differently. Yes? Well. I have to be honest. I hadn’t really considered that. I guess I was thinking about what love means to me. But some of the scenarios that came up in the comment section of last Monday’s post gave me pause to think about what that word means to different people.

For me, love is everything good and decent and kind. It is service personified, unselfishness, comfort. Love is, and will always be the center of happiness. And granted, I’m a sucker. A total romantic. But there are also things I believe love is NOT.

For instance, in my mind, love is NEVER cruel or mean. Never abusive degrading or demeaning. Love does not choose sides, or keep secrets or tell lies. Love doesn’t hit or poke or leave bruises or burns.

People may do those things, but LOVE, itself, does not.

Love is an emotion, a feeling, a conviction even, but it is not human. And as always, everything comes back to us being human and making choices. And so I ask again. Can love, in its purest form, conquer the forces of evil?

In my experience, love wins the battle EVERY TIME. That doesn’t mean the ending is always happy, that the good guy always wins or that the bad guy always loses. What it means is that love is the thing that gives us the strength to push forward and move on.To rebuild.

So, now you know what it means to me, I’d love to know. What does love mean to you?

Does Love Really Conquer All?

Over the weekend, for no reason in particular, I was thinking about the story of Robin Hood, and his lady love Maid Marian. In the Disney animated movie, toward the end, there’s a character that shouts, “Love, conquers all.”

We all know that not every story has a happy ending.

But love, in all its many various forms, does have a lot of power. Even if it can’t defeat things like death and destruction, natural disasters and disease, when it comes to the human condition, could love really, really solve all the world’s problems?

Take my theme from last week’s posts. Can love really make better the life of a child whose heart has been broken? Or an adult for that matter? Can love really move mountains?

Call me an optimist, but I believe it can. When there are no other choices, no other options for salvation, love finds a way. Yes, I am a romantic, and a dreamer and all that. It’s entirely possible that I’m biased. So I’m asking you. Do you believe love is the answer to all of the most important questions? All the worst problems? And what makes you believe one way or another?