Where I Was Standing

Word is spreading about my publisher’s recent announcement that they are closing. I have only had days to process, and because there are a lot of details and options to sift through, I can’t tell you with any certainty what will happen next with my newly released baby, DESCENDANT. (But don’t worry—I won’t let it just disappear!)

I’ve remained relatively quiet about this news because frankly, I’m a bit in shock. Less than a week previous to receiving this notification, my publisher and I discussed details about me turning in the sequel to DESCENDANT, which is about finished. Also, the way I found out was… less than ideal.

You see, I was at WorldCON, a science fiction and fantasy convention which happened to be held in San Antonio this year. It was midnight, and I was attending a social gathering, surrounded by other authors, fans, readers, and generally AWESOME people. At some point, amongst our giggling and chatting, I pulled out my phone to friend one of my new acquaintances on Facebook and my eye landed on a notice in the private Rhemalda Authors Facebook group. I won’t go into details, but I will just say the notice was lengthy, detailed, and devastating. And yes, I saw it first on Facebook.

Standing in a dark room, surrounded by excessively happy people, the floor fell out from under me. And for a few very long seconds, I couldn’t breathe.

I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but I handed my phone to a friend, who whispered something to my brother and cousin (who both awesomely accompanied me to the Convention—along with my awesome friend), and then all these arms enveloped me in a giant group hug while I cried.

When the fog lifted and the arms were removed, a swarm of supportive people joined in. Not just my family, but so many other supportive people, some of whom hardly knew me at all, but who were genuinely concerned for my welfare and happiness. Everyone in that place hugged me at some point, even though few of them knew why.

I received support from a woman who works for a company specializing in publicity, from a number of successful authors, from a Hugo winning artist, and also an editor. I was serenaded with a Monty Python sketch, and saluted, and cheered on, and held up until the tears turned to laughter, and my feet somehow found the floor again.

That night, a friend reminded me that there are no mistakes, only happy accidents. And by the time he said it, I knew that no matter what road I choose from here, I am going to be okay. My career is still moving forward, and I can still look forward to celebrating enormous success.   

The world righted itself because I realized that no matter what happens, I will never have to stand alone.

In the days that followed, I received more proof in the form of messages, phone calls, texts, and emails and so much verbal support I almost can't keep up with it. 

There will be news in the future, and soon I will go through the painful process of making decisions and figuring out details. But for now, I am more than okay. I am amazing and wonderful and zen. I’m happy with all my future possibilities. And I attribute that in large part to where I was standing when I got the news, and where I continue to stand daily. Completely surrounded by love.

The Support We All Need (also, some winners!)

I’ve done several contests lately. It’s because I have all this awesome stuff and am kind of dying to start sharing it. I suppose I should save some of it for the upcoming launch month and all that, but, uh, that’s two weeks away. And I have winners now! To that end, the winners of last week’s drawing are… drumroll…

Descendant swag pack:                Karlene Browning

Swag pack #2                              Roberta Hulse

Descendant e-book:                     Donna Nolan

Congratulations ladies! I’ll contact you this week for mailing addresses and all those details.

Also, last week I failed to mention that I am about to send out the bookmarks from the previous contest (which have been packaged and almost ready for several days).  I cannot get used to having our local post office close earlier than most. So if you’re wondering where those are, um, yeah. They’re still coming.  

               

On another subject, I’ve been thinking a lot about support. We all have people we depend on, who support us through…well, life. Good times (like launching a new book) and tragedy (horrible accidents/illnesses/disasters), our emotional ups and downs, and also, our in-between blahs.

(You know what those are, right? Those times when you’re not really up, and not really down, and you’re sort of spinning around and around and not going anywhere, and you need someone to give you a little shove and tell you to do something, and maybe give you advice on what kind of something.)

We all need these people in our lives. We need people who cheer for us and mourn with us and kick us in the behind. Ironically, the people who manage to show up for our moments might not be the ones we expect. Sometimes we’re hurt by those who choose not to show up, and other times we’re surprised by those we didn’t expect who do show up. But when all is said and done, we realize that despite everything else, and in spite of all outside circumstances and choices, those people who are there for our moments—they’re the people we most need to have with us at that given time.

Maybe they have a lesson to teach or a message to share, or maybe they are a better friend than you ever realized. Or maybe a little voice whispered in their ear and made them think of you—and then they listened.

We can never really predict these things, and that’s okay. So maybe we should learn to hold onto the sweet, let go of the bitter, and fully enjoy the miracle that occurs anytime someone graciously offers the gift of their support.

And this week I am so, so grateful, to everyone who has been a part of my miraculous journey. Thanks for supporting me by reading! 

If I Write it, They Will Come

Recently, an important bookseller commented on liking to plan events for authors they know will draw a crowd, even for their first book launch. And I was surprised by my own internal reaction to the discussion, because I know—absolutely—that regardless of what my book is about, or who publishes it, or what is the intended target audience of my work, people will come.

This is not me having a big ego or thinking a lot of myself (quite the contrary). This is me having confidence in the people who are important to me, and who I absolutely believe will be there for me—to support me—not just because they’re my fans, but because they either love me, or because I have shown up to support them. The very idea is truly, unbelievably humbling.

I have an enormous family. Seriously, huge. If I were to plan an event and even 25% of my family members were able to come, that would = a crowd.

But it’s not just about my family. There are people who are not related to me, who are my friends. True and loyal friends, in whose lives and/or careers I have become emotionally invested. Sometimes this means spreading myself thin, or driving long distances, or donating time, money, and other services or goods. Sometimes it means staying out late to lend a shoulder, or encouraging someone who needs a boost, or meeting an out of town friend for cupcakes and chatter. The point is, as my grandmother, and then my parents taught me, this is what it is to be a true friend. And because my friends matter to me, I believe I matter to them.

So when the bookseller talked about planning events for authors who can bring a crowd, I smiled, nodded, and thought, yeah, okay. I’m totally launching my next book here. Because I have the best friends and family in the world, and if I plan it, they will come.

I might not be able to talk without bawling, but the day is coming, peeps. Count on it. And you’re all invited.