More Summer Happiness

Yes, I'm still out of town. And probably taking a bunch more pictures. What can I say? I love memories like this, and summer is all about making memories. So this week I'm sharing a few more of mine in hopes that you will be inspired to make a few of your own.

This is what happiness is all about.

Happy summer!

The Height of Summer

Here it is, the height of summer, and I am out of town. Again. With all this talk of how to choose our own happiness the last couple of weeks, I think it's appropriate to share some pictures of things that make me happy during the summer months.

What about you? What makes you happy this summer?

More About Choosing Happy Things

After last week’s post, I’ve been thinking more about things that make us happy and some of the ways in which we can take control of our happiness. We’re all different, and I do understand there is a very distinct difference between clinical depression and just feeling blah due to life circumstances. So with that in mind, I thought I’d throw out some of my fallback ideas for when I need a little cheer.

1.       Exercise. High levels of physical activity release endorphins into your brain which are not only conductive to happiness, but also enhance creativity. So yeah, this is a big thing for me.

2.        Fresh air. There is something so calming and relaxing about being outside in fresh air. Granted, in Texas right now, walking outside is similar to walking into a pre-heated oven, so our outside time tends to happen in the evening and at night, but yeah. It’s still awesome.

3.       Retail therapy. Don’t laugh. Finding that something special can be a little like winning a big sports game to a person who likes to shop. And yeah, okay, money can’t buy happiness, and I totally agree that’s true. But sometimes the smallest, silliest thing can make a person’s day. For instance, last week I found a seashell lamp, and it was half off of an already inexpensive price. It was a steal, and I fell in love with it. Day. Made.  

4.       Time with a good friend. There is nothing, and no one who can soothe us the way our favorite people can. Sometimes that means a long distance phone call, or Facetime or Skype or an online chat, or whatever whatever. It’s about communicating with someone you love, and who loves you back. Someone who is a good listener, and who will—when needed—give you the gift of brutal honesty. Sometimes, we all need to be told to suck it up, and sometimes we just need to be allowed to cry.

5.       Create a sanctuary. Be it your bedroom, an office, or a space outside, or wherever. We all need somewhere that is specifically our special place, where we can go to chill and just veg for a while. This space should be comfortable and comforting, and you should enjoy it the minute you walk into it. And if ever you get tired of it, it should be something you can rearrange or redecorate and love all over again.

6.       Change your diet. Because the thing is, as much as we all love sugar and carbs, if depression is a chemical issue for you, changing your diet can make a HUGE difference. In fact, even if it’s not a chemical thing. What we eat plays a big part of how we feel, so it’s important to make sure we’re eating things that make our bodies happy.

7.       Yoga. Because stretching is relaxing, and being relaxed does a lot for a person’s well being. Also, you feel fantastic after you’re done.

So those are a few of my tried and true methods for when I’m feeling unhappy. Now I’d love to hear what you do when you’re feeling down.  

Happiness is a Choice

When I was young and we moved around a lot, my emotions were something of a roller coaster. Childhood emotions are generally very up and down anyway, but when your definition of home changes about yearly, even more so, I think.

After a move that had been particularly hard on me, my mother sat me down for a heart-to-heart chat. I was probably eleven or twelve. Maybe thirteen. And I must have been in a serious funk, because even back then it was hard to get me down and keep me there.

But I have never forgotten what my mother said to me that day. She told me that regardless of circumstances, surroundings, or the actions of other people, the only person who had total control of my happiness is ME. Happiness is a choice, and it is up to me to decide to be happy or not.

Since then, I’ve moved a whole bunch more times. Been through relationships and heartache and lots and lots of life. I’ve had my heart broken and rebuilt and remodeled and revised, and lived in several states and gone to lots of schools and experienced both happiness and disappointment. My mother’s words of wisdom have stayed with me through it all.

I choose to be happy.  

I have a family now, and children who are on a roller coaster themselves, and it’s time for me to pass on that same advice.

So here it is:

There are a lot of things and parts of life that are out of your control. Especially as a kid. Things happen, families move, bullies exist and there will always be someone who seems to know just the right thing to say in order to momentarily rip out your heart. You’ll like boys/girls and they might not like you back. Friends will say mean things and hurt your feelings. There will always be someone you miss. Always. There are a lot of reasons why you might choose to be unhappy, and those reasons will never go away. They will likely change, but there will forever be something.

Happiness is a choice. It is up to you to decide to rise above the bad and focus on the good. It’s up to you to take control of your well being. It is up to you to choose to be happy.

I hope I’ve taught you well. That’s all.  

10 Things that Make Me Happy at Christmas Time

1.       Time with my family

2.       The glow of softly twinkling lights lighting up the world

3.       Holiday music

4.       Hearing people wish complete strangers a merry Christmas (or happy holidays, or whatever)

5.       Reading holiday stories

6.       Wrapping thoughtful gifts in pretty paper

7.       Making and giving holiday treats

8.       Finding that perfect item to give a special person in your life

9.       Little children anticipating Christmas morning

10.   Being reunited with family members from far away.

My son is coming to town this weekend, and I am so excited to have my family all together for the first time since we left Utah. He’s never been to our new home in Texas, and I’m both nervous and excited to show him around. With the holiday and family time, please forgive me for not blogging next week.

I hope you have a beautiful, wonderful, fun-filled, merry Christmas. Sending you love from our little town in Texas!  

Much Partying in Blog land: a Giveaway Celebration

If you’ve been around in the last week, you’ve already heard my epic news. Yes, I know there are lots of questions. Someday I may do a conference presentation and tell the whole story, but not today. Today, we celebrate! (Which means I'm blogging Monday instead of Wednesday.)

 If you don’t know why we’re celebrating, you should visit this post.

See these?

And these?

These are books I’m giving away. Two lots of three, (the books in the YA lot are all signed—yes, even Leviathan) and to one lucky winner, a signed poster from the Fierce Reads tour.

To win, you only have to do one thing: enter. But in order to enter, you should be a follower, and / or sign up for my newsletter (see the sidebar). That’s it. Once you’ve done one (or both) of those things, fill out the form below and be entered to win.

However, if you want to share the love by spreading the word on your blog, or Facebook, Twitter, LinkdIn, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram—wherever, I’ll give you an extra entry for each. Because I’m nice like that. On your honor. (Just know that if you say you did something, and really didn’t, Karma will come down on your head, and believe me, you don’t want that. She’s not nice when she’s angry. I’m just sayin.) (Also, feel free to tag me on FB, @ me on Twitter, or whatever whatever—I’ll come say hi.)

I’ll use the random generator to choose the winners, and try to get them posted next week, Monday-ish. This contest will run from today, September 24th until Saturday September 29th at Midnight, Mountain Time. If you live outside the US, please only enter if you have a United States shipping addresses. I wish I could say I was a rich author, but…ya know. That is not my reality yet. (But there’s always someday.)

 Big hugs from me for all your support and friendship, and good luck with this contest!

Do It Anyway

I've always been into positive thinking. You know, that whole believe in yourself and you can do anything...thing.

And I do believe it. I believe I can, and you can, and my kids can. We all have opportunities to succeed, to do big things, to become better people. We all have the opportunity to succeed, even if that success is preceded a thousand failures.

But we have to take those opportunities, and we have to be willing to fail. We have to try out before we can be cut from or make a team, and audition before we can get the part, and we have to apply for a job before we are hired.

We have to be okay with learning how to pick ourselves up out of a hole of destruction and rebuild our lives. Or our self confidence. Or whatever. You know what I mean.

I am willing. Always. Because this is the way dreams are discovered.




What are you willing to do for your dreams?

What if?

As seems to be my pattern lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about success and how to be successful in my career as a writer. I know I’m not the only person I know who is going through a strange and unsettling lull in life. You know that lull. Where you try and try and try and fight and fight and fight to cross a line or jump a hurdle or take another step and no matter what you do, you feel like you just. Can’t. Get. There.


But what if.


What if success isn’t a place.


What if success, like happiness, is a state of mind?


What if.


I’ve already made it to that place without even noticing?


What if?

Why?

When it comes to being told no, writers are probably the most steadfast, forge ahead, move-on-type people I know. If I didn’t know better (and believe me, I KNOW BETTER) I’d think we actually thrive on rejections of one type or another (consider: agent/publisher rejection, difficult critique comments, negative reviews, etc.). And yet, we write anyway. We submit anyway. And we get feedback anyway.

Why. Why do we try so hard? Why do we keep writing, submitting, critiquing, blogging, and social networking to the point of giving up other important things in our lives—like sleep?

For me, I think it’s because even when I’m miserably disappointed, deep down I remember how happy I am when I get into a rhythm and actually unfurl my creative wings. That happiness is why I write. It’s often why I smile. Sometimes, it’s even why I breathe. And I believe, truly believe, that if I keep working, keep believing, don’t give up, that eventually I will jump the hurdles currently holding me back and finally face the next hurdle.

But what’s true for me might not be true for the rest of you. So tell me. Why do you keep trying?

When News is Made of Win

Did I ever tell you guys my recent news? Life has been a tad on the crazy side for me, so I can’t remember, but I think I didn’t. (Please forgive me if I repeat myself.)

A couple weeks ago, I got two bits of good news. First, I found out that the beginning of one of my manuscripts won second place in the Romance Writers of America Heart of the West contest. (Translation: a really COOL prize from a way cool organization.) It’s been a long time since I entered a manuscript in a contest, so it felt really good to not only place, but place high.

*does happy dance*

Maybe my writing doesn’t always suck.

Second, I have officially been asked to present at a local conference hosted by the LDStorymakers this coming spring. I haven’t done a lot of presenting up to this point, and since both my published books are through small-ish presses, I am beyond flattered by this development. And completely pleased.

*does happy cartwheels and other feats of bravery*

But I have to point out that neither bit of happy news simply fell into my lap by chance.

To place in the contest, I had to first enter. And to enter, I had to research the contest, judges, guidelines/rules, and also polish and perfect the manuscript segment I hoped to submit. (Once I clicked send, I put the entry out of my mind and literally forgot about it—hence my absolute surprise when I found out I was a finalist.)

To present at the conference, I had to fist come up with an idea, create an outline/lesson plan/proposal, and then research to whom I should sent that proposal in order for them to know that 1) I am willing to teach and 2) I will be prepared with a class that will help others in the writing process. (After I sent the proposal, it was several weeks before I heard back, but I was so happy when I did.)

So, lessons of the day:

1. Research
2. Prepare
3. Submit/ propose/ enter
4. Have faith enough to move on once you’ve clicked send.

What would you add to this list?

What Does Love Mean to You?

Last week’s post about love conquering all brought up some interesting points. Especially because everyone has such a different way of looking at things. While all the points were valid, some of the more negative ones made me wonder something.

What does the word love mean to you?

Clearly, everyone defines it differently. Yes? Well. I have to be honest. I hadn’t really considered that. I guess I was thinking about what love means to me. But some of the scenarios that came up in the comment section of last Monday’s post gave me pause to think about what that word means to different people.

For me, love is everything good and decent and kind. It is service personified, unselfishness, comfort. Love is, and will always be the center of happiness. And granted, I’m a sucker. A total romantic. But there are also things I believe love is NOT.

For instance, in my mind, love is NEVER cruel or mean. Never abusive degrading or demeaning. Love does not choose sides, or keep secrets or tell lies. Love doesn’t hit or poke or leave bruises or burns.

People may do those things, but LOVE, itself, does not.

Love is an emotion, a feeling, a conviction even, but it is not human. And as always, everything comes back to us being human and making choices. And so I ask again. Can love, in its purest form, conquer the forces of evil?

In my experience, love wins the battle EVERY TIME. That doesn’t mean the ending is always happy, that the good guy always wins or that the bad guy always loses. What it means is that love is the thing that gives us the strength to push forward and move on.To rebuild.

So, now you know what it means to me, I’d love to know. What does love mean to you?

It's Not About the Size of the Tree

The first Christmas after we moved into our house—feeling extremely festive and perhaps overly excited about the vaulted cathedral ceiling in our living room—we bought a new artificial Christmas tree. (I know, artificial isn’t nearly as awesome as real. But I have this thing where I’m pretty much incapable of keeping plants alive indoors. My thumbs are black, not green. And we prefer to not burn down our house.)

The thing is twelve feet tall, before decorations. (No, I am not joking. Yes, I am crazy. And before you ask, I probably won’t buy one quite this big ever again. It requires an insane amount of time to set up and take down. But I love the end result.)

Anyway, that first year when the tree was up and decorated, one of my new neighbors made an offhanded comment that was something like, “Wow, how will the rest of us ever keep up with that?”

Even though it was said in a joking tone, those words stung deep. Our choice of tree was not about competition. It was about joy. Joy for being in our new house, joy for the season and everything it meant, and joy for being able to make our family celebration as big or as tall as we chose to make it.Or on the other side of that coin, as simple or as small.

The day we walked into Costco and saw the tree, my kids squealed in delight, and their eyes lit up with sparkles. And funny enough, the cost turned out to be significantly less than many of the other trees we’d looked at that day. It was a good purchase that has lasted seven years and counting.

But every year when I’m decorating this monstrosity, that particular comment comes back and reminds me why I do things the way I choose, and why I don’t do them the way other people would have me do.

Regardless of what some might think, Christmas spirit is not determined by the size of your tree (or the number of lights) any more than a man’s masculinity is determined by the size of his truck or SUV. Any more than a woman’s worth is determined by her ability to sew or cook or clean house. (Yeah, that last one is so cliché it’s ridiculous. Forgive me for that. I’m lacking in all those departments.)

There was not a lit Christmas tree in Bethlehem or lights circling the roof of the stable. No gifts wrapped in expensive paper. No Black Friday shopping days. There was a family, experiencing quiet moments of pure, unadulterated joy.

Our tree could be a one-foot twig for all that it matters. We’d still find joy within the quiet warmth of our family. The only difference is it wouldn’t be quite so visible to the rest of the world.

What do you think? Does the size of your tree really matter? And do you really care what the neighbors think?

*Don't forget to enter this week's totally fab I *Heart* Followers contest* 

Who Doesn't?

I promise to not make a habit of chronicling everything I do when I’m not blogging, but dudes, I had the most awesome weekend (with the exception of a sick little boy and a trip to the ER—that was not awesome.)

Thursday was the beginning of the first ever Authors Incognito writers retreat. (In case you don’t already know, Authors Incognito is the totally fab writers group of which I am a member.) Along with my good friend Danyelle Ferguson, I was kind-of-sort-of in charge. We planned this retreat in conjunction with NaNoWriMo, and held it at a cabin in the mountains of Park city, UT, hoping that we’d all get tons of writing done. Which we did. (Collectively 130,000 + words in two and a half days! My portion of that was 9,000.)

Plus, it was good inspiration to spend a couple days in the company of so many other writers. Lots and lots of fun. And FYI, my NaNo project is off to a really good start.

After leaving the retreat, I joined my Fab Five friends (for lack of a better group name) at a benefit auction, where we listened to (and rocked out with) Nathan Osmond.

Unfortunately, just as the live auction was about to start, I was needed at home and had to leave in a hurry. (Sadly, the need at home involved a trip to the Instacare, and then on to the ER, where we were stuck until after 1:00 am for an appendicitis scare. Don’t worry, though, all is well now.)

Anyway, leaving the auction meant I missed the funnest part, wherein that same Fab Five (or, actually, four of the five) got caught up in the excitement of bidding and ended up buying a vacation package (for five) to Mazatlan, Mexico.

I received the good news via text and Facebook. Made the hospital experience not nearly so frustrating. (And yes, I was surprised. But not shocked. Cuz. Yeah. Nothing shocks me when it comes to them.)

Why am I telling you all this? Because I realized something this weekend. There will always be things to do, people who need your attention, and responsibilities to handle. But sometimes, in order to deal with those things, you have to take some time to really live and just be happy. When we are happy, we are our best selves.

And who doesn’t love being happy?
 

Good News Minute--All Weekend Long

Okay people. If you’re a regular reader, you don’t need to be told what brought this on. If you’re not a regular reader, you should be (for shame!). Scroll down and catch up. Anyway, after everything, I’ve decided it’s officially time for some really good news.

There’s this thing with the ladies in my church where we take a minute to let anyone and everyone share good news or exciting things that have happened during the week. I don’t often speak up, because my brain isn’t fast enough, my hand doesn’t shoot up quick enough, or my tongue is just plain too slow in catching up with my thoughts. My bad.

I believe we create our own moods, our own circumstances even, through positive thought and happy energy. Therefore, I am officially declaring this weekend a good news weekend. I want to hear your good news and know that positive, happy things are happening all over the place in the world. September is going to be a fantabulous month.

I’ll start.

1. Even though the air has become cooler in the last week, the sun is shining bright and warm in Utah, and the sky is clear. I’m driving around with my convertible top down.

2. My husband found my very favorite, and extremely hard to find, dressing / bread-dipper on the shelf at a local grocery store the other day. (Score!)

3. Going to dinner and a movie with my bestest non-writing girlfriends tonight. Can’t WAIT!

4. In just over a week, I will be driving across the country with my husband to take him to a lengthy specialized training course in Quantico, VA. I’ll leave him there and fly home, and yes, we’ll miss him, but this is really great opportunity. And going to be an incredible drive.

**Update** I almost forgot this fun bit of news as well.

5. Tomorrow, I'm going to be hanging out with some of my bestest writing friends at The Kings English for Kirsten White's Paranormalcy event. I love those kinds of days.

Okay, now it’s your turn to share your good news. Starting…NOW!

10 Things That Make Me Happy

My good friend, and fellow author Joyce DiPastena, who is so gracious and kind, gave me this fun new award. Isn’t it cute? To earn the privilege of displaying this button on my blog, I have to first list ten things that make me happy, and then pass the award on to ten bloggy friends. Yay! I love thinking about things that make me happy. So, here goes, in no particular order:

1. Spending time with my family—even if we’re all just sitting around doing nothing more than being home together.

2.Music.

3.Great books that leave me thinking about the characters for weeks after I’ve finished reading them.

4.Making someone else smile.

5.SUNSHINE!

6.The ocean.

7.Watching my children excel at something they love, like playing guitar, piano, basketball, or soccer.

8.Traveling.

9.My husband.

10.Writing a great scene or book—and typing the final words on the final page.

Wow, I could keep going with that. What fun. Thanks again, Joyce! And now, I shall pass this happy-making award on to ten bloggy friends. (I’m going to try to think of people I haven’t nominated in a while for this one.)

1. Carolyn Vawdrey, who is always smiling, every time I see her, without fail. She’s like bottled sunshine.

2. Elana Johnson who recently blogged about the importance of recognizing the small successes in life, and made me really evaluate happiness on a daily, hourly level.

3. Karen Hoover, who I don’t see nearly enough of, but who has found a way to combine so many things, and use them in her writing. For instance, she plays the flute beautifully. Go figure.

4. Elizabeth Mueller, who never fails to say uplifting, happy things on Facebook and Twitter, even when it’s snowing.

5. Suzette Saxton who has come to almost as many of my book-signings as my parents, and whose blonde, curly haired daughters remind me of someone who made me happy when I was young.

6. David J. West, who has a book coming out next week, Heroes of the Fallen, which I am very excited to read. (Congratulations, David.)

7. Frank Cole, who’s Hashbrown Winters books make my youngest son and I laugh like loons. Plus, he’s just an all around nice guy. And his blog is fun to read, too.

8. Heather Justesen who writes deep, thoughtful romance, but always manages to make me laugh through my tears in just the right places.

9. Russ Beck, who is such a great husband to my friend and co-author Cindy, and who comes to every, single signing ready to carry boxes, pass out bookmarks, and play the part of cabana boy every time we need something.

10. Kimberly Job, who had a different last name when I met her, but who is now far more happy than I’ve ever seen her thanks to the new one she now bears.

Okay, that’s ten. There are lots of other people I could mention, but I’ll catch you all the next time around. =) Have a good weekend everyone. And don’t forget to come back here and tell me when you post the ten things that make you happy that go along with this award.

Until next week, write on.

Personal Battles and Revolution

If you look back on history, or, okay, even better, open a newspaper and look at current events, you’ll see that revolution isn’t so much about war and rebellion so much as bringing about change. The early Americans had issues with how the English government was running our country from afar and decided to do something about it. To do what it took to change the rules, to adapt them so that they better fit the people living on this continent, rather than one thousands of miles away.

The civil war started, basically, over slavery and an intense need for those people to be freed, treated as human beings—which was a long process, granted, but served a much bigger purpose by helping shape this country into a stronger, bigger power. One in which all people would—eventually—be treated equally. Or at least, as equally as possible considering we’re all human.

That’s on a big scale. But if you look at smaller organizations, smaller businesses and even families, the same principles apply. In order to affect change, you must first question the thing that needs to be changed, then do what you can to initiate that change. Even if your personal revolution consists solely of having a conversation with someone in which you express your honest feelings by laying out the reasons the rules don’t work. If you do it right, you might find you have the ability to change something for the better.

However, there’s also a caveat to this line of thinking. Every war has casualties. Should you decide to fight any battle for change, there’s always a good possibility that the person lying on the ground in a pool of blood might be you. The question you need to ask is whether or not you’re willing to risk that, to take on that responsibility for yourself, and anyone else who chooses to back you on your mission.

And then ask yourself what you’ll do if you lose the battle. What will be the consequences to your words or actions? And what will you do next? How far are you willing to go to get what you want? At what point do you decide that the costs outweigh the benefits and consider changing course?

What makes you decide to fight one battle, but not another?

Maybe…maybe it’s a matter of thinking. In the case of the above-mentioned wars, it became increasingly clear over many years of time that something had to give. Those people—our ancestors—felt like they had no other choice but to fight, and fight they did. The revolutionaries in those cases won numerous battles and brought about more changes than we can probably even imagine.

But when it comes to smaller things, does it really have to be a war? And is what you’re after really worth the fight? Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. I think this is where you have to think things through carefully.

If you’re a writer, this same line of thinking can apply to plot and character. What matters to your character? What are they willing to fight for and what will be the cost of the battle if they do? What happens if they win? What happens if they lose?

Basically, how high are the stakes and what can the character do about them? And how can the main character make the changes necessary to make their life, or their world, better?

In real life, what battles will you jump into, and from which ones will you walk away in order to pursue other, more important fights? Do you really want to go to a party where you’re unwanted or would you rather throw a party of your own? And why is the party important to you in the first place? You might be better off doing something much more productive with your time, and whether or not the partiers eventually miss you, will you actually, in the long run, truly miss them?

What battles are you currently fighting and how important are they in the grand scheme of your life?



**This is not meant to be a political discussion, so let's please refrain from diving into the depths of certain current events as related to opinions meant to sway people in one direction or another. This is simply a thought process which turned into a blog.



Don't miss out on your chance to win lots of fun free stuff. Details here.

Note to Self:

Before stomping in the house and yelling at the kids for leaving a pool of water in the garage, first notice parked in the driveway, the shiny, clean truck with fewer little fingerprints on the windows.  Surprise, Mom!

Love List Challenge: Day Six

by Nichole Giles

Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~Robert Heinlein

Today I love that my husband tries so hard to understand me, even when I don't always understand myself.