Why?

When it comes to being told no, writers are probably the most steadfast, forge ahead, move-on-type people I know. If I didn’t know better (and believe me, I KNOW BETTER) I’d think we actually thrive on rejections of one type or another (consider: agent/publisher rejection, difficult critique comments, negative reviews, etc.). And yet, we write anyway. We submit anyway. And we get feedback anyway.

Why. Why do we try so hard? Why do we keep writing, submitting, critiquing, blogging, and social networking to the point of giving up other important things in our lives—like sleep?

For me, I think it’s because even when I’m miserably disappointed, deep down I remember how happy I am when I get into a rhythm and actually unfurl my creative wings. That happiness is why I write. It’s often why I smile. Sometimes, it’s even why I breathe. And I believe, truly believe, that if I keep working, keep believing, don’t give up, that eventually I will jump the hurdles currently holding me back and finally face the next hurdle.

But what’s true for me might not be true for the rest of you. So tell me. Why do you keep trying?

Stick-to-it-ness

If you’ve been a follower for very long, you’ll know I’m a gym regular, and that January is the season for newbies to join, come for a couple weeks, or a month, and then never return.

Newbies can be picked out from across the room in a packed gym, and it is not because their workout attire is either brand new or inappropriate (aka jeans, flip-flops, etc.). It’s that look of panic on their face, the confusion when they look at the equipment, the indecision that causes them to wander in circles.

Sadly, by the end of February, one of two things tends to happen with these people. Either they’ve given up the idea of getting fit and have moved back into old habits, or they’ve figured out the machines, found a routine, and bought a good sports bra or compression shorts.

The same thing happens to writers who are attending a conference or workshop for the first time. From the look of panic, the confusion when trying to figure out which breakout sessions to attend, and the indecision that causes them to wander the halls.

By the end of the conference though, either they’ve decided they really don’t want to be a writer and are looking into basketweaving or taxidermy, OR they’ve taken reams of notes, broken out of their shell to make friends with other authors, and are planning to attend other conferences near them.

There’s nothing wrong with being the newbie in either of these cases. It’s a very admirable thing for people to branch out and try new things. I’m all over self improvement. (Disclaimer: some people aren’t meant to get in shape in a gym. There are other methods. Some people aren’t meant to learn to write in a public setting like a conference. There are other ways to do that, too. And I wish those people luck. Today, I’m addressing those who ARE made to do things this way. )

The only way to reach a difficult goal like getting in shape or writing a book is to stick with it. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s so hard you don’t know why you decided to do it in the first place. Even when you wonder why you subject yourself to such methods of torture. Keep going and keep going and keep going, because eventually, you will see results. You will lose five pounds or ten, or write a chapter or an entire rough draft, or even a short story.

Once you start seeing results, you’ll remember why you started this journey, and hopefully, that will be motivation enough to help you stick through the next difficult phase, until eventually, you manage to reach that goal.

What helps you through the tough parts?

Trying Something New

Have you ever watched that show extreme couponing? Last week, on a night when I couldn’t sleep due to my excessively stuffy nose and awful cough, I stayed up late watching episodes, and was astounded and amazed at how much stuff those women could get for either a very small amount of money, or completely free.

So I asked the only expert I know—my daughter—if people really get into couponing like that. Turns out, daughter has a friend whose mother does this and who has accumulated rooms and rooms of food storage.

Me: Huh.

Her: Mom, we should totally try it. They have all kinds of good stuff and they let us eat as much as we want cuz it was free.

Me: ??

Her: Really, I’m serious.

Me: You act like I never feed you. And that looks like a lot of work, which requires a lot of time and thought and calculations.

Her: But they save thousands of dollars. Please, let’s just try it. I’ll help. It’ll be a project we can do together. It will be fun.

This is how I have come to be considering attempting a single shopping trip in which I try to cut my grocery bill in half with the use of coupons. That it can be done, I have no doubt. The question is if it can be done by me, and if I can come home with grocery items my family will actually eat or use, without spending my week obsessing over sales and coupons when I should be writing.

What do you think? Is it possible?

Stay tuned next week to find out how it went.

**Don’t forget to enter my October Give Back Giveaway. The deadline has been extended to midnight tonight.

That Initial Leap—Right off a Cliff

Last weekend, I jumped off a cliff.

Yes, I’m serious. And no, I wasn’t pushed, unless by pushing you mean my kids counting down so my husband could snap the shutter while I was in the air.

Don’t worry. I landed in water. Clean, clear, warm water, and it felt fantastic once I was in it. The harder part was getting up the guts to bend my knees and take the initial leap.

Actually, it felt a little reminiscent of my journey as a writer. First, it was hard admitting to myself that I wanted to write—like, actual books. Then it was hard to finish that my beginner's crap manuscript, and later subject my work to critique, then to start submitting / querying.

Clicking send for the first time (and many, many times after that) felt highly similar to that dive I took the other day. Really, really scary when you’re on the cliff looking down, but highly incredible once it’s over and you’re in the water. Even if you know you’re going to have to swim to shore and climb up to take the leap again, once you’re there, a small body swimming around an enormous lake (or ocean), it feels absolutely incredible to know you’ve done a brave thing and survived.

What brave things have you done lately?

Everything I've Got

Guess what I’m doing tomorrow? I’m running (or maybe speed-walking) my first ever 5k. It’s called Coopers Run, which is a great cause, so of course I’m looking forward to it. Well, mostly.

First problem: I am not a runner. Never been a runner. Therefore, I will very probably be somewhat slow.

Granted, I spend a lot of time at the gym. Always have. And I have been running lately, which is why I was okay with this. But the truth is, running is not my favorite form of exercise. (And yes, believe it or not, I DO like to work out.)

Second problem: I will be running this 5k with a whole lot of police officers (and some wives) who happen to be my husband’s peers, and who are required to pass a twice-yearly physical fitness test which involves running. Some of these guys run marathons for fun on their days off. I am not joking.

Also, my two very athletic daughters, who will undoubtedly leave me in the dust from the beginning.

But again, I’m okay with this. Even if I get left behind and am the absolute last person to cross the finish line (which, FYI, I severely doubt. I’m in decent enough shape that I could walk it in a decent time), I will still be glad I did it. Because once I finish, I will do so knowing that I gave it my all.

That’s really the crux of everything, isn’t it? It doesn’t necessarily matter who gets there first, or who comes in last, or which of us stagger through somewhere in between, so much as it matters that we dedicate ourselves to a higher purpose and give it everything we’ve got.

It’s really the only way to be successful in this world.

Wish me luck!

The Thing About Bravery

After my recent realization about writers and cops being similar, I’ve been thinking more about bravery. What it is. What it means. What it requires. All that stuff.

The thing is, the definition of bravery is probably different for everyone alive. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and what comes easily for you might be a huge undertaking for me. But we all have moments, defining ones (tee hee), when we are required to be brave—more so than we’ve ever been before.

And we wonder if we’re up to it. If we can handle it. If we can do it.

Am I brave enough to write a book? Am I brave enough to color my hair purple? Am I brave enough to travel to Mexico during a time of civil unrest? Well yeah, obviously I am. But are you?

Am I brave enough to submit that book to 300 agents? (FYI, I’m not even close to that number yet.) OR brave enough to shelf a book that’s not perfect and move onto another one? (Which might be more likely.) Am I brave enough to jump in and pitch my books to an agent face-to-face? Am I brave enough to try scuba diving even though it sounds kind of scary? Am I brave enough to teach my fifteen-year-old how to drive in my Mustang?

Maybe. I’m trying.

Am I brave enough to stand in front of 10,000 people and sing The Star Spangled Banner? Or Happy Birthday? Or…anything? Probably not.

But I am brave. I can do hard things. Things I’ve never done before. Things I’ve never tried before. Things that sound out-of-my-league and impossible and just all-out scary. I am not afraid of living, of doing the things that will make me most happy in life.

I am far more afraid of not doing those things. Of not trying, not putting myself out there, not living.

The thing about bravery is that everyone needs it at some point. We all have it. But only you can decide when it’s time to pull it out and use it.

What brave thing have you done this week?