Leaps of Faith and World Domination

I don't know about the rest of you, but lately I feel like every part of my life has become a giant leap of faith.

And by that I mean jumping off a cliff with no idea what I'm doing, but screaming, "Oh hey, I think this looks fun, let's try it and I hope I don't die!"

We bought a house today. A nice house that I love. And I am very excited and nervous and worried and anxious and ... I've owned houses before. I've been in debt for like, EVER. Like the majority of people in the world. This is not a new thing for me. But after moving back to Utah from Texas this last summer, I feel like every thing we do, every choice we make (as a family) is an enormous undertaking. And that's not wrong.

Every day that passes is a day that we will never get back. And every choice is one less that we get to make tomorrow. Sometimes those choices are made using a great deal of thought and calculation. And other times it's a total guessing game. Those are the times when I try to go with my gut, and my heart. Because those two--when they're on speaking terms--tend to know what they're doing.

I try to apply this to my writing too. I suck at outlining, and to be honest, I rarely stick with them. Instead, I get to know my characters and let them take me on the journey that belongs to them. Because isn't that what we do in reality anyway?

My point is that it's okay that we can't see the future. If we could, life wouldn't be nearly as interesting. And neither would the stories we are here to tell.
 
Every minute and every story is just one more little leap of faith. Today I jumped back into home-ownership. Tomorrow maybe I'll finish another book. The next day ... well. World domination is always an option.

The Best Intentions

This summer life has clocked me in the head. Literally. As in, no matter how hard I think, my brain cannot compute where the time has gone and how it is not almost OCTOBER. So much for keeping up with my regular Tuesday blogs! Sigh.

But it’s okay. I’m coming to grips with a few things this month, and thought maybe I should share them with you.

1.       Sometimes it’s okay to not be able to keep up with everything you hoped to do. Life is a game of priorities, and sometimes the people in it get to come ahead of and above other goals or schedules.

2.       There is nothing in the world that will put a family of six in an emotional tailspin faster than a two year sequence that involves three big moves (not including my oldest daughter who added one more to that number) across a distance of 1500 miles. It is physically, emotionally, and mentally impossible to keep up with anything else—especially artistically, during this time.

3.       It’s important to live for life’s “ups” in order to make the “downs” more bearable.

4.       Sometimes even the best intentions just don’t add up to reality.

5.       Making my personal writing goals that involve manuscripts have become a much higher priority above blogging.

It’s that number five thing that has kept me from blogging. See, here’s the thing. I had big plans for this summer. I have books to draft and blogs to write, and conferences to attend, marketing to keep up on and, and, and… I’ve discovered that no matter how badly I want to keep up with all these things, the reality is that I can’t do everything, all the time.

So I let this blog slide a bit, and I don’t feel too bad about it because I have instead focused on other writing projects that I hope to see making important progress in the near future.

I very much hope that I am able to get back into a routine and keep up with blogging again this fall. But if I skip some weeks—if I don’t keep up the way I always have—I hope you can forgive me. I hope you’ll continue to come back and read anyway. Because I have come to the conclusion that it is more important to keep up with writing books than it is to stay consistent with this blog. (Though I truly do hope I can juggle both!)

Thanks for sticking with me, friends!

Stay tuned next tuesday for a report on the awesomeness that was the LDStorymakers Midwest Conference! 

Holding the Spoon

Occasionally in life, we come to a point where we begin to feel stagnant. When the everyday becomes so routine that it ceases to be a challenge or a learning experience. And like a crime investigation gone cold, sometimes it becomes necessary to find a way to stir things up.

My husband (who is Chief of Police in our town) and his detectives recently did such a thing on a two-year-old homicide case which had almost gone cold. Recent changes in their department (including my husband coming in as chief), particularly the detective division, prompted them to start the investigation from the beginning, look at it with fresh eyes. Then they started all over by calling in a search and rescue team, complete with trained K-9s, to re-canvas the scene of the crime.

I think the same kind of thinking can apply to writing or to other art forms, as well as any aspect of life. Stirring things up is how I got my first book contract. And then again, stirring led me to my agent. Indeed, we stirred our family by moving to Texas a little under two years ago. There is extreme value in shaking things up, breaking patterns, accepting change. Change is growth. And growth is always, always good.

So they stirred this investigation, and while initially, no new evidence surfaced, the presence of the team was enough to start an avalanche of new information that bled with old information, and three weeks later…

This.

An arrest. A strong case. Closure for the victims and their families. A murderer off the streets.

Stirring the cold pot brought out information that led investigators down the right path, just like stirring our family life to come to Texas led our family into some incredible, phenomenal growth. I am still awaiting the verdict on the progress with my career as an author, but big things are coming there too. I can feel it.

I’m already holding the spoon, dipping it in the sauce. Once again, it’s time to give things another little stir.

In Which I (possibly) Skipped Church and Ended Up Chasing a (real life) Criminal

So … There’s this thing that happened. And it was a one of those things that people think only happens in movies or books—and most of the time that’s probably true.  Unless, of course, you’re married to the Chief of Police in your town. (And actually, even when he wasn’t the chief, stuff like this happened to us—so yeah. Maybe it’s more about being married to a cop? We have been known to apprehend shoplifters at the grocery store with our cart half-way full and our ice cream melting. But I digress.)

Back to this particular Sunday. I work with the young women in our church, and it was my turn to teach the lesson. My plan included asking a lot of questions that would require responses from the girls, which meant I needed candy with which to bribe / reward them. So after the larger congregation meeting, my husband and I skipped our next class for a gas station run.

My husband’s personal car is also his duty car, which means our Tahoe has red and blue LED lights and a police radio installed, and the radio is always on whenever we’re in our town. We had just left the gas station and were heading back to church *coughcough* when dispatch notified the on-duty officers that county officers were in pursuit of a suspect (read: suspected carjacker) who had just driven into our town, crashed his first stolen car, and then stolen a second one.

The suspect was less than a mile from us. And being the chief, my husband needed to make sure everything went smoothly with this pursuit, since safety is always an issue. And so the LEDs went on, as we zipped between streets, passing a number of seemingly stunned onlookers, and a number of vehicles which the suspect had crashed into before he took off and fled on foot.

At that point, my husband armed himself and put on his bullet-proof vest as he instructed me to take his car and go back to church. But the foot chase didn’t last long, and with the help of concerned citizens who kept him in sight, officers apprehended the suspect and took him into custody before I could adjust the driver’s seat so I could reach the gas pedal. 

My husband returned to the car. “I’m going to be a while dealing with these accidents. Why don’t I take you back to church?”

Sunday school just got a whole different meaning.

“Well,” I said, feeling rather accomplished, considering that it was before noon. “My car is there, and so are our kids.”

And so back to the church I went. And guys, believe it or not, I made it in time to teach my lesson. Not only that, I learned one myself. Next Sunday we should probably skip the gas station run. Unless we plan to fight other Sunday afternoon crimes. If only I could remember where I put my cape…

*Interested in the real news story? You can watch the clip here or read about it here.

Summer of Cray-Cray

Oh my gosh. Today, I looked at a calendar, and realized it’s September already. Not just barely September, either. The month is almost halfway over already. I keep looking again, staring at the calendar, wondering how in the heck this happened. How is summer already over?

*shakes head*

Mind boggled. Anyway, this summer has been every bit as eventful as last summer. And that’s saying something big—because last summer was CRAY-CRAY. So yeah. Here’s a short recap.

DESCENDANT was released.

I spent time in Utah conferencing and promoting and visiting. 

We moved. Again. (Still in Texas, different house.)

Did some promoting in Texas.

Due to my first agent’s phenomenal success as an author, I signed with a new agent—who I also love.

Celebrated holidays with the fam.

Spent more time in Utah, this time mostly visiting family and friends.

Got reacquainted with my boat, which still lives in Utah for now.

Also visited Jackson Hole (and Yellowstone) with my besties. Hey, it’s research!

 Attended WorldCON in San Antonio (which, by the way was PHENOMENAL for networking, and rocked a 15 on a scale of 1-10).

Finished drafting book 2 in the DESCENDANT series. Yaaayy!

My publisher announced they are closing. (BOOOOO!)

(Also, still no definite decisions made yet—but no worries, you’ll all be the first to know as soon as I do.)

And now school has started, and people are gearing up for fall. And I? I don’t know what I’m doing for sure, but I do know one thing. It’s time to write another book. (And hey, maybe someday I'll get one of these all my own!)

So yeah. That’s my plan. What about you? What’s your goal now that summer is over?  

In Which I Realize We All Have Issues

Okay, so this is not a new realization. But still. As mentioned in my last post, I have issues. Stuff I’m dealing with and decisions to make, etc, and yes, I have the ingrained instinct to want to bury my head under the covers and never come out. Or at least to wallow. But then, every single time I decide to do exactly that, I blink, and catch a glimpse of the world, and the other people in it who are not me.

I see others having troubles, and I talk someone else off a ledge, read about angst and uncertainty and troubles and depression and boredom and ISSUES. Real issues that are not pretend or fictional, but someone else’s actual reality.

I’m not saying other people’s problems make mine seem smaller or comparative or bigger or whatever. No, that’s not the point at all. What I realize is that everyone is dealing with something, and that something is huge to that person at that time, just like my thing is huge to me when I’m dealing with it—or whatever. Does that even make sense? The point is that it makes me feel not-so-alone as I deal with things. It makes me realize that my thing—no matter what it is—will not be the end of life as I know it (well, unless that involves moving again, and holy freak, I’d like to not do that again for a while, okay?), but maybe just a stepping stone to greater things.

And also, my things, my issues, my troubles and experiences and other crap? It all makes me human. Makes me strong. And strong is something I have always wanted to be. So I guess yeah. Maybe I can handle stuff, and be okay and do hard things. And my friends can too. And we will ALL OF US survive and become strong.

So that’s it. My personal lesson for this week. Everyone has issues, and it’s all good. We’re dealing with life and figuring things out, and no matter how alone we feel, we’re also united in our… insanity? Yes. That’s a good word.

Are you one of the insane ones? 

Summah! (And other important stuff to do.)

Okay, so I know I’ve been somewhat incognito here and on social networking sites and all that jazz, but our move (from rental to owned-home) is complete (although, unpacking 20 years of crap is going to be a constant work in progress) and I’m diving back into edits/rewrites/drafts and planning to hit my writing hard this summer.

Usually, I don’t work as hard during the summer months because my kids are all over the place and I like to do fun summer things with them. But, um, I feel like I have lost a lot of time this year, which means I will spend the summer catching up.  This means juggling the two is bound to get interesting.

First on the agenda, an updated draft of a book my agent needs ASAP. Second, taking a look at the zero draft of the sequel for DESCENDANT and drafting a workable, editable manuscript. Third—a rewrite (like number 16 or something) of a book I wrote two-ish years ago (maybe three?) that keeps feeling not-quite-ready. And finally, a totally new draft of an idea I started on over a year ago before my life EXPLODED. I’d like to have those first three things I mentioned finished by the end of summer, and hope to be starting on the fourth by September.

Can I do it? That remains to be seen. I may need an incentive of some kind. And some accountability. And some encouragement. I can count on all of you for the latter two, right? And as for incentive, well. Maybe…

A new writing desk? Or a writing patio? Or maybe smaller scale, like shoes. Trips to the beach. Or a night out with friends. Something fun! (Your ideas are welcome and helpful.)

So yeah. Lots of awesome things to keep me excited about working. Now if only I can find a quiet place until my new in-home office is set up (including temporary folding table).

*twiddles thumbs and glances sidelong at more boxes*

Until then, I’d love to hear about what productive/non-productive things you’re planning this summer!

Playing the What If Game

**It’s not too late to sign up for the Operation Bookmark Share contest. See this post for details.

If you’ve been reading my posts regularly, or heck, even sporadically, you probably know what a crazy eventful year I’ve had. I’ve posted about a lot of ups, and tried to stay away from posting about the downs (because we all know they exist—I just choose not to focus on them). And it’s cool. So cool, because so many of our events have been such great, wonderful news.

And yet, no matter how many wonderful things have come my way, all of these things have come with a bag, or a bucket, or a moving truck full of uncertainty. And we all know what comes—free of charge—with uncertainty. That naughty bad word—FEAR.

Despite last week’s post about conquering my fear of falling, and all my talk about being brave and blah, blah, blah, I think this year will forever be labeled as my year of fear.  This is the year when I play the What If game every. Single. Day.

What if this happens? Or what if this doesn’t happen? Or what if we try this? Or what if this works? What if it doesn’t? What if we move our family 1500 miles away and hate it? What if we move our family 1500 miles away and love it? What if my book does well? What if it doesn’t? What if my agent and I sell the one on submission? What if we don’t? What if my family can’t find a place to live? What if we do? What if I finish another manuscript? What if I don’t have time because of all of the above?

You get it, right?

I do this way too much lately. I think it’s one of the hazards of being a writer. Everything. Everything becomes an issue of what if. Everything becomes story material or plot fodder, or character builders.

I don’t have the answers to all my what if questions right now. But I do know one thing. Next year, when some of my recent things have passed, I’m going to have a HECK of a lot of story material.

What if…

My experiences could someday make me money. Or at least give me something to write about.

Yeah. Exactly.

A Little Bit of Both

I hate to say it, but I’m so glad to have Thanksgiving behind me. Not that I don’t love the holiday—I really do. But it was a massive stresser this year. Thirty-seven people, two giant turkeys, ten pounds of potatoes, twenty-something pies, and a Costco sized package of paper plates, all consumed and enjoyed and now in the past.

I love holidays. Family, food, fun, shopping—all things that make life worth living.

But there’s a lot of stress involved, too, and at the end of it all, I enjoy the satisfaction of having it behind me. Still, I continue to be grateful for this country in which I live, the freedoms I enjoy, and all the comforts of life with which I’m blessed. So, you know, I’m thankful for the holiday, and at the same time so relieved to have it over.

It’s one of those days I both dread and adore. Do you feel that way sometimes? When and why?

Life, Guilt, and Realistic Goals

Okay. I don’t know if I mentioned it here or not, but I have this personal deadline to get my current work in progress finished by the first week in September (was end of August, but I’m allowing a week of leeway). This means I need to write fresh and/or edit 50-60,000 words, including a climax and ending. (When I say edit, I don’t mean polish. We’re talking finishing a rough draft here.)

So when I have weekends like this past one, I have some guilt. I accomplished a lot of things, but not much writing at all. Life just didn’t allow for it. And on the one day when I should’ve had time, I was so exhausted and achy, I actually took a nap. (I know, I should be imprisoned.)

But I still intend to finish this book. How? I have no idea. I just will. I’ll give up some pool time (yikes, did I just say that?) and probably some sleep (eek!) but I’ll finish this draft.

And I will let go of the guilt I’ve been feeling when I take an hour to go to the pool, or to take my children shopping. Or to take a much needed nap. Because here’s the thing. Writing, like everything else, requires some basic brain function, which begins to shut down if you never take a break, never get any sleep, and never spend time with your loved ones.

So guilt-be-gone. Even writers need a good, solid dose of realism every so often.

What are some things you’ve given up in order to write?

Lots of Random

What is it about fate that makes certain weeks extra busy, and others extra slow? And why haven't any slow weeks been thrown my way lately? Seriously, sometimes I think it's a miracle that I get any sleep at all. Just saying.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I'm actually very excited about everything I have going on right now. But, you know, there aren't enough hours, yadda yadda. The good news is this is a cool, fun, interesting week. Here's the rundown:

1. Today I blogged on Writing Fortress (aka Cedar Fort Authors) about why networking is important. Click here to read more.

2. The winner of the $20 Barnes and Noble gift card has been posted, along with a few random Monday comics on LDS Humor. (Yes, posted by yours truly.) And while I'm talking about winners, the contest winners for all the other contests I posted about last week have also been chosen. I'm not one of them, but scroll down and click on the links to see if you might be one of the lucky ones.

3. Tomorrow, right here on this blog, I'll be reviewing a book called Love Your Body by Brooke Parker R.D.. It's a short read with excellent suggestions on how to rethink your eating and dieting habits. PS This is NOT a diet book! I'm not a big dieter, but I do think eating right is important. Check back on Tuesday to read more about it. Also, as a bonus, enter to win one of five copies of the book, being given away by the publisher. Yahoo! More free stuff.

4. Wednesday I've been asked to present at the League of Utah Writers meeting. This is a great honor. I'll be bringing my coauthor Cindy Beck with me, and we're speaking about our journey From Proposal to Publishing and Promotion. (Aka how Mormon Mishaps and Mischief came to be.) The meeting is being held at the library in Provo, UT, room 201 from 7-9 pm. Oh yes, and it's free to the public. That is, unless you're a heckler. Then you'll be forced to buy my books as payment.

I'll also have a few books handy for purchase, and will sign them for you if you ask nicely. Or if you bribe me with chocolate. Either way.

5. Thursday is my regular posting day at LDS Writer's Blogck. Since I've been busy taking care of Monday-Wednesday's obligations, I have no idea what I'm blogging about there. I'll surprise you. But still come leave comments. They make me so happy.

6. Friday I'm jumping on a plane bound for Phoenix. (Okay, not literally jumping. We all know what happened when Kramer did that.) Yahoo! Off to the ANWA Writer's Conference. I'll be spending the rest of the weekend hanging with my ANWA sisters, learning, relaxing, and writing. Along with some other authors, I'll be signing right after the conference, probably somewhere in the hotel, so if you're in the Mesa area come by and say hi. I'll even sign a book for you. **Crossing my fingers I'll have copies of The Sharp Edge of a Knife before Friday**

7. What else?  Oh yes, March 5th is the day I'll post about my next way cool giveaway. This is in conjunction with a blog tour for my good friend Rachelle Christensen's new release, Wrong Number. You don't want to miss this one, people. So mark your calendars. Also, you MUST read this book. It's a page turner, I tell ya.

8. I'm also still looking for a way awesome, incredible, cool grand prize to give away on my blog tour for The Sharp Edge of a Knife. Speaking of that, I'm also STILL waiting for confirmation on the launch date. I have a tentative schedule, but it all depends on how fast the bookstore can get books. One way or another, I'm launching in mid-March, even if I have to change locations. I'll let y'all know asap.

9. There's still time to register for the LDStorymakers Conference in April. And if you hurry, you'll be able to just squeak by inside the deadline for the first chapter contest. Great prize this year, too. Check it out and register, if you know what's good for you. I'm going, which means all the cool people will be there.

Am I missing anything? Seriously? Because I know I am--not including my kids' indoor soccer games, basketball, music, yadda yadda yadda. What is it? Remind me already!