What is it Exactly?

My spoiler-free thoughts about MOCKINGJAY.

I’m writing this week’s blogs on the heels of having just finished MOCKINGJAY. (Don’t worry, no spoilers here.)

My brain is fried.

My emotions are all over the place.

I slept maybe three hours Saturday night, after having to actually drag myself out of bed—where I’d been lying wide awake—to read five pages past a certain critical point where I’d last closed the book (and only because I had to try and sleep). I also took an Ibuprofen for a headache while I was up.

After I finished, the first thing I wanted to do was go outside, get some air, some sunshine, and hug my children, my husband.

I was both engrossed and disturbed. I loved it and hated it at the same time, and while I was satisfied at the outcome, it was very painful to get to that point. That book—no, the whole series—made me think, made me ponder. Made me grateful for the world I live in, even with all our imperfections. Made me angry, too.

Part of me wants to say that this is good writing, amazing writing. Phenomenal. And yet. There’s that hated it side of me that wonders. This conclusion was my least favorite volume of the series, even though I am glad to know how it ended. Is it because the writing slipped? Or because the subject touched raw nerves? Or because I hated being in the thick of battle with characters I loved? Hated seeing what happened to each of them individually, as well as collectively.

I can’t really decide yet. If you’ve read it, what do you think? (No spoilers, please!) Did you love it? Hate it? Want to hug it to your chest and also throw it against a wall?

And is it truly phenomenal writing? (To this, I suspect the answer is a resounding yes, though it might take me a few days to think that way.)

Oh, and also, are you (or were you) Team Gale or Teem Peeta? And did you ever change sides?

Speak, Act, Do

On Wednesday I talked about making progress on my most recent project. I’m allowing others help push me to finish—because, you know, we could all use a little push now and again.

One of the things I’ve learned in the last few years is that writing, just like with everything else in life, you have to first decide you’re going to do it, then act on that decision and follow through. Sounds easy, right? But not always.

I can think I want to do it, tell myself I’ll do it tomorrow, or on another day or whatever, but it’ll never get done if I don’t actually sit down and, well, get to work. Correct? Procrastination is my enemy. So I make a goal, figure out what needs to happen in order for me to reach that goal, and then get to work.

It’s more than just working through a list, though. It’s allowing myself to sometimes be distracted and then finding other time to catch up. It’s failing every so often (aka rejections or setbacks), but not allowing those small failures to cripple me. It’s about learning how to aim high, higher than I ever imagined in my wildest childhood daydreams.

Writing and life are both about growth of self aren’t they? And no one can reach my personal goals but me.

Speaking of goals, I should get back to work. The end of summer is rushing in like a hurricane. How are you doing with your goals for the summer?

With a Little Help from My Friends

This summer my friend Windy and I made a pact. We have this goal to finish the rough draft of our works in progress (one each) together, almost as a writing marathon—or more accurately, a sprint.

Truth: I don’t know if I’ll actually get my draft finished by the end of August.

But. I’ve made LOTS of progress, and am happy. I expect to have a livable draft by the official calendar end of summer (Sept 20th). And even though Windy feels doubtful about her progress, I suspect she’ll finish by then as well.

Here’s how it goes: every night, we meet via Twitter and support each other in our #amwriting attempt. As soon as we get started, others inevitably join us and we have a nice party of support. And because I know that someone else is there, waiting for me, I have extra motivation to show up and get to work.

Whether or not I finish the full draft, I’ve made progress. I’m so much farther along than I was when we started this challenge.

It helps tremendously to have someone working along with me, to have someone expecting something from me. Have you found this to be true as well? Who expects progress from you? (If you answer no one, come play with us on Twitter! We’ll get you going.)

No Spoilers, Please!

Mockingjay comes out tomorrow. *dances in excitement* If you haven’t read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, you should. It will change your life.For reals.

Just sayin.

This week I will be anxiously awaiting delivery of my my pre-ordered copies (yes, plural) from Amazon, hoping that Mr. or Ms. Post-person will be kind and try to hurry things along. In the meantime, those of you who get your books at midnight and have finished by the time I wake up, please do the rest of us a favor and don’t post spoilers online.At least, you know, not on Facebook or Twitter where they're visible to those of us who don't go looking on purpose.

Really. I'm serious. It’s just mean, I tell you. Mean! I want to read the rest of the story as it happens and not expect what’s coming, or what really happens. *shivers in anticipation* (I so hope they save Peeta!) This is the beauty of a well written, highly anticipated book.

Thank you. That is all. Back to reading.

PS. Thank you, Suzanne Collins, for being such a brilliant author. Even though I haven’t met you yet, you’ve taught me lots.

PPS. In looking for the above picture, I came across this fantastic trailer at Mockingjay.net and had to share. Enjoy!

Anything But Ordinary

I’m just going to ask this up front because it comes to mind. Who makes the rules, or gets to decide on what—in life—is considered ordinary? And what does ordinary even really mean? Cuz, I think the definition varies from person to person.

And really. Does anyone on the planet actually want to be that ordinary person? That boring person? Maybe. Maybe some people do. Most likely, those are the people who are anything but ordinary.

Is it just me, or are we all born with a deeply ingrained need to do something big, with our life, or in our life?

It’s not like we set out to change the world—or at least, not all of us. More likely, we need to do something memorable and special. Something good, so that when we die, people who loved us or knew us can look back and say, hey, that person did this huge, amazing thing. They made a contribution to the world, and we’re all better for it.

Maybe it comes back to not wanting to be ordinary, or boring. The problem is, doing something big, something special, takes not only effort, but courage. And courage doesn’t come easily for all of us.

That doesn’t mean we can’t find courage, just that it might take more effort for some of us to dig it up and put it to use.

Maybe courage is the difference between being ordinary and extraordinary. Courage, mixed with strength. Definitely. It takes a certain amount of courage for an artist to show his work to critics, or for an author to send his or her book to a publisher, agent, or even the reading public. Or think about a musician playing in front of an audience. It takes something we are not born knowing how to use, but which we all have buried somewhere deep down.

Do you agree? Disagree? Is there some other important ingredient that I’m forgetting to throw into the recipe? Because I have to tell you. Right now, I’m that person. I need to make my contribution to the world. I even have some ideas on how to do that. The trouble is I’m terrified. And what if that terror takes over and steals away my resolve before I get it done?

I know I’m not the only one, so spill. It takes something else. What is that thing and where can I get it?

It's a Throwdown!

You know how I’m always joking about how much I love watching the food network? Okay, well. It’s not really a joke. It’s like the best—and most useful—kind of reality TV, right? Right. (Have you ever seen Throwdown with Bobby Flay? If you haven’t, you can read the details at the Food Network website.)

I was watching Throwdown the other night, and got thinking about the protagonists of all my favorite books (yes, including my own) and their differences, as well as what they have in common.

Wouldn’t it be frawsome to have a throwdown match between our favorite fictional characters? Like…just for example, Jacob Black and Peeta Mellark. Jacob is a wolf-boy out to save the world—and the girl he loves—from vampires, but Peeta is a trained killer, forced to kill other kids his age and younger, including possibly the girl he loves, in order to survive.

But both are good, decent people who want to make the world a better place, and who will do anything to ensure the safety of their love-interest girl. And by the way, both of them are in love with a girl who kind of loves them back, but not enough. Not really.

So, who would win in a throwdown between them? Any ideas? Because I just don’t know. I don’t. I love to read, but am not sure I could be a judge in this particular match between heroes. This is why I need to hear your thoughts on the matter.

And also, what two characters would you like to see throw down?

One Small Idea

I spent most of last week online attending a virtual writer’s conference known as WriteOnCon What a great experience for me and all the other attendees. And what an amazing thing these organizers have accomplished.

They started with an idea, grabbed it by the horns and took off with it. By thinking outside the box, they managed to bridge the gap between 11,000 authors, agents, and editors across the globe. And next year it will most definitely only get bigger.

Why would they do such a thing? They all have agents, and most of them are working on book deals, or have books being released in the next year or two. They didn’t create this conference for themselves. They did it because they believe in paying it forward. This is their way of serving the writing community. Of giving back to the world. This is their way of reaching out to other authors and saying, “Here, let me give you a hand.”

And it has nothing to do with selling their books. But because of their efforts, books will sell. It’s a side effect, but not the reasoning behind the plan. For them, it’s about service. And maybe a little about Karma. It’s about a community of people taking hands and holding onto each other to make sure every single person has the means and ability to make it to the top.

It leaves me wondering what more I can do to help others around me. Am I stuck thinking inside the lines, too afraid to venture out and do bigger things? Are you? I don’t think service has to include thousands the way it did for these particular authors. It could just be one person. One person for whom you can make a difference.

There’s no way to know who will be that person for you, so all you can do is try every day to pay it forward to someone, to do something for another person, and eventually, it will come back. A side effect of something bigger and better than you ever realized.

All it takes is one small idea. Think about it.

Life, Guilt, and Realistic Goals

Okay. I don’t know if I mentioned it here or not, but I have this personal deadline to get my current work in progress finished by the first week in September (was end of August, but I’m allowing a week of leeway). This means I need to write fresh and/or edit 50-60,000 words, including a climax and ending. (When I say edit, I don’t mean polish. We’re talking finishing a rough draft here.)

So when I have weekends like this past one, I have some guilt. I accomplished a lot of things, but not much writing at all. Life just didn’t allow for it. And on the one day when I should’ve had time, I was so exhausted and achy, I actually took a nap. (I know, I should be imprisoned.)

But I still intend to finish this book. How? I have no idea. I just will. I’ll give up some pool time (yikes, did I just say that?) and probably some sleep (eek!) but I’ll finish this draft.

And I will let go of the guilt I’ve been feeling when I take an hour to go to the pool, or to take my children shopping. Or to take a much needed nap. Because here’s the thing. Writing, like everything else, requires some basic brain function, which begins to shut down if you never take a break, never get any sleep, and never spend time with your loved ones.

So guilt-be-gone. Even writers need a good, solid dose of realism every so often.

What are some things you’ve given up in order to write?

Sometimes All it Takes is a Balloon

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to hang out at the Millard County fair with my good friend, author Heather Justesen and her husband Bill, where we spent a lot of time talking to people and making hundreds of children smile.

Before you ask, we didn’t do a magic show or hypnosis (though, other people did). We didn’t sing or dance or otherwise entertain, either. But our efforts could be seen everywhere you looked.

We handed out helium balloons. For free.

And even though my hands are sore from tying strings and latex, I had a good time, because every single kid who came to our booth walked away with a smile. Lots of parents listened to us pitch and walked away with bookmarks, and some walked away with author-signed books. After two full-days of working (three for Heather and Bill) I broke even. Some would ask if it was worth it. Most authors would say no.

But I think it was. Making someone else smile is always worth a little effort. And a long drive.


Especially if that long drive is in a convertible, lying on the gas to try and beat the massive rainstorm blowing in behind me. (To the guys at the gas station who laughed and wished me luck—I did make it, thank you very much. Yet another reason for me to smile.)

Sometimes a smile is payment enough. For me, this was one of those times. Have you had an experience like this? Do share! What would you do to make a stranger smile?



**Today I'm online hanging with all the participants of WriteOnCon. Come join us!

They May Be Your Last

I’ve quoted this line here before:

Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Recently I’ve been reminded again the potential powerful of our words. Through them, people start wars, bring about peace, heal broken hearts, and also cause them. Unlike physical wounds that can be stitched up and mended, wounds inflicted by words are often left untreated and sore, festering, until relationships between people break apart, unmendable.

On a panel at a conference, Sandra Taylor once said, “Sharp words, if left lying around, can cut even years after they’ve been [said or] written.” At the time, the panel was discussing blogs, but I think this also applies to email and social networking status. Obviously her words had impact on me, because that phrase has stuck in my head ever since.

I’m generally quiet if you meet me in person. I don’t speak up as often as I probably should in classes or social gatherings, because it takes an extra boost of courage for me. But when it comes to blogs or emails, I’m much more confident. More bold. I’ve learned how to string my words together for impact, and am therefore able to voice thoughts I wasn’t able to share only days or hours before, be they excited and happy, or thoughtful, or angry. (Though, truthfully, I try very hard to not voice too many angry words for the reasons mentioned above.)

Recently I’ve been reminded that I’m not the only person for whom this is true.

Writers know how to use words. Or, if we don’t know, we spend lots and lots of time learning. These lessons are meant for good—to share our stories and our knowledge with the rest of the world. But there is a flip side. Words can be used to hurt as well. To wound.

Isn’t it interesting how much bolder we become, how much more free with our words when sending emails or texts, blogs, or even ink-and-paper letters, as opposed to words we would actually share with a person to whom we are standing face-to-face?

I wrote letters (yeah, snail mail) to long distance friends as a child, and then as a teen, in which I would often share things I wouldn’t otherwise have said. As an adult, it’s easier than ever to click send (or publish, or share) in moments of strong emotion or misunderstanding. We can tell the world what we’re feeling or thinking in one click, before we’ve truly thought about the consequences or repercussions.

I’m reminded of a great line in the movie, Ever After. The queen says to the Baroness, “Choose your words wisely, Madam, for they may be your last.”

All I can say to that is amen. Far more than what we’ve done or said, in the end, we will be remembered for our words. What be yours?



**Don’t forget about WriteOnCon, the FREE online writers conference that starts tomorrow. Click here for more deets.

It's Not Just Good--It's Good For You

Let’s discuss the wonder that is zucchini. (In case you’re not a fan of this splendiferous veggie, keep reading. This post will make you lose ten pounds in thirty minutes. Or…something.)

It starts out as a seed in the ground, which grows into a gigantic plant within a few short months. Once that plant starts bearing food, it keeps going like the Energizer Bunny—all summer long. And thanks to the wonders of the internet and The Food Network--a fail-safe favorite of mine—you can look up recipes and instructions that will tell you thousands of ways in which to cook those baseball bat-sized things that appear almost daily.

It’s the ultimate in versatile foods. You can fry it, sauté it, bake it, stuff it, mash it, grate it, use it as noodles. You could probably even flambé it if you were brave enough.

Just, you know, keep a fire extinguisher handy. In case.

Granted, after a while you’ll probably get tired of eating—or seeing—zucchini. You might even come to hate it. Like, HATE it, hate it, hope-you-never-see-another-one-as-long-as-you-live hate it.

Be grateful, though. There are probably starving people in the world who would sell their children for a plant that would produce so persistently. I digress.

That’s what happens when you plant a seed. As long as you remember to water it, make sure it gets enough sunlight, keep the weeds away and then fertilize it every so often, it grows and becomes this splendiferous thing that could feed a third world country. Your little seed could change a life. Or many lives. Or at the very least, make a delicious dinner for someone.

You never know, right? Yeah.

I guess what I’m saying is that just because you feel like you can’t stand the thought of seeing another zucchini, you shouldn’t quit gardening. Just like when you feel like you can’t stand the thought of writing another word, painting another stroke, singing another note, or dancing another step—you go ahead and do it anyway.

Because you can. Because it’s good for you and you remember that at some point you really loved it. And sometimes, it’s simply a means of survival.

That is all I have to say about that.

A Little Bit of Brain Vomit

During a recent discussion with some friends, I realized something. People—no matter what we have in common—all have different needs. Some of those needs are similar, food, water, shelter, love. But everything else is absolutely unique for each individual. We need different things out of relationships, different things out of our jobs or careers, different things from our children or spouses or other people in our lives.

In the same vein of thought, each person in our life needs something different from us. Even down to our children. The needs of one child might be completely different from another, whether you have four, or seven, or twelve. Because we are all individuals. So very different.

And yet.

Each one of us has a purpose. A reason why we’re here on earth. An ultimate goal that extends far beyond what we could ever see, even if we lived to be 150 years old.

Unfortunately, we don’t usually know what that purpose is. Nor do we know the purpose for other people in our lives. We’re all just there for each other.

*Sigh*

I don’t even think we always know what we want out of life, let alone our life purpose. But that’s okay, isn’t it? Because that’s what life’s about. Right?

Well. That’s what I think. It’s about figuring out where we want to be, then making goals and reaching for them. It’s about bettering not only ourselves, but those around us too. It’s about learning how to love and be loved, and how to appreciate and make use of all the billions of trillions of different types of love we experience in life.

It’s about using all those types of love to fill needs. To be of service to others and to make the world a better place.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I think you do. Okay. Off my profound soapbox of brain vomit now. Carry on.

Life is a Water Park

I’ve decided life is like a water park with a maze of slides.

From the bottom vantage point, you look up, see the twists and turns and hear other people squealing with glee, and you feel sprays of water, and you think—hey, this is going to be fun. So you start the trek upward.

You walk and then climb, sometimes carrying a tube or small child. The ground is hot, the line is long, and the sun beats down on your skin until you’re positive you’re going to be bright red by the end of the day. You wonder if the ride you’ve chosen is worth the wait. Worth the effort.

You’ve already come this far, so you might as well keep going, right? You climb some more. Sometimes, you pass slides or attractions that are lower down. Not necessarily easier, but more accessible. You wonder if you’d be better off going on those attractions. The line is shorter anyway. It might not be as much fun or bring the same kind of satisfaction, but it would still be a good experience, and you’d have the relief of being wet. Sometimes you ride that smaller slide, knowing that if you don’t love it, you’ll have to start the climb again. You’re okay with that, so you go.

In the back of your mind, you’re still dying to ride that big slide. The one you can see from a mile away in any direction. The one that few people ride because it’s so high up and requires so much work to get there. And that slide is scary. It has tunnels, and unknown twists and turns. And the pool at the bottom is deeper than the others.

Not everyone rides that slide. Not everyone wants to. From the top of the platform, you can look down and see people milling around at the bottom, basking in the sun, waiting under umbrellas, playing in the wave pool, taking completely different risks. Those people look happy. And they are. So why aren’t you down there with them?

You don’t want to be there, because some of us have a need to take a risk. To go that extra mile and fly down that slide. We’re willing to navigate the tunnels and the twists and turns, even knowing that we’ll have to swim for our lives once we get to the bottom.

We do this because it’s how we’re made. It’s what we need. It’s part of who we are. There’s nothing wrong with hanging out at ground level and basking under an umbrella, but it’s not for us.

In order for us to be successful and happy, we have to take risks. And so we do.

Have you taken any risks lately? Tell me about them.