Making a Memorable Impression

In the time since I decided to seriously go into writing as a career, I’ve been to a lot of conferences and conventions. And since the writing world is relatively small, I’ve noticed I tend to run into some of the same people again and again. They’re the serious ones—or the devoted ones. Or maybe just the crazy ones. I can’t decide. Whichever it is, I’m one of them.

A lot of those people remember me. And I remember them. I take the time to learn their names (though it’s definitely not a strength of mine) and something about them that will stick in my memory.

At a recent conference, I had the opportunity to run into a few people who I have only met once or twice before. These people remembered not only my name, but that I used to live in Utah, that I write, and that I recently had a book published. And I remembered each of them, for a number of reasons.

Someone recently asked me how that works. My first instinct was to blush and say, I don’t know, it just does. But then I dug a little deeper into human nature, and I realized something. I am best at remembering those people who treat me with respect. But even more, I am BEST at remembering people who are kind. Who smile when we’re talking, and say gracious things. People who can have a conversation about nothing, and remember details. I remember people because of how they make me feel each time we meet.

I think maybe it works that way on both sides. I put a lot of effort into being kind. To everyone, regardless of who they are, what they do for a living, or where they live in the world. I try to be inclusive rather than exclusive. I try to embrace people for their individuality. I may not always succeed, but I definitely try.

I don’t know if that makes me memorable or not. But that is the number one reason I will remember someone else. Thus, my circle grows.   

Granted, not everyone will always remember us. There are also people I've met a number of times who have yet to pay well enough attention to remember me. And that's okay. I guess I'll just have to keep being nice, keep being me, and one of these days, they will.

What do you think? How do people make a memorable impression on you?

Little Things That Make a Big Difference

Last week during my travels, I was able to experience both kindness and it’s jaded opposite in a single day.

The very nice man from the hotel staff—who not only brought me a cart, but hauled my copious amount of luggage (6 pieces total) to the garage and loaded it in my car—refused any tip, insisting that it was Mother’s Day and his pleasure. (Though, I assure you—those bags were freakishly heavy. Just ask Delta airlines.) Because of him, and other kind and helpful hotel staff, I will stay at the Marriott whenever I can in my travels. The people there are incredibly respectful.

On the other hand, a rental car employee stood and watched me unload this same luggage, without assistance (and sporting the slightest smirk) as I wrestled all six ridiculously heavy bags onto the ground and went in search of a cart—AND THEN informed me that he was charging me yet one more astronomical fee. Another rental employee also watched, amused, as I wrestled my cart toward the BROKEN automatic door, then stood aside, waiting for ME TO OPEN IT FOR HIM.  There was more, but I won’t bore you with the details. Needless to say, I will never rent from Hertz again. (They may have a policy against helping customers with luggage—I don’t know. But the door thing? Yeah, I can think of nothing to justify that.)

The thing is, it’s not always about company policy. Sometimes it’s about human beings treating each other with value and respect. Sometimes it’s about helping each other when it’s obvious that we need help. Much like the hotel gentleman--by the way, he was not a bell boy—who jumped to assist me because he could tell I was struggling. Unfortunately, that type of behavior is becoming more and more rare.

This is what is wrong with our society. Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the basic important things, the little things that very often make a big difference. I think it’s up to each of us to be that person who makes a change, regardless of where we work or what we do for a living. Some things are about being human, and WE—not our jobs or companies or any other outside force—are the ones who choose how we act, and how we react, and what we stand for.

Will you be the person eager to jump in and help or the one who stands on the curb and smirks? It’s your call. But remember—one day you may also be the one struggling with the baggage. Which one would you want to encounter?

That is all.

*end rant*

A Post about Kindness

There’s this very kind gentleman who works at a gas station near my house. I stop there for my morning Dr. Pepper after working out at the gym (don’t judge), and he talks to me, asks about my car/children/home/how things are going/the weather, and whatever else. He has taken the time to learn my name, and always smiles and says hello.  

Sadly, other than my family, this guy is sometimes the only actual person I talk to during the day. Sounds pathetic, I know, but we’re new in town, and I work from home. Sure, there are a few people. Other parents whose kids play sports with mine, people who work with my husband, people who attend our church. But other than in passing at those sports games or church/work meetings, I don’t do a lot of interacting with other grownups most of the time. At least, not to the degree I did in Utah.

This gas station attendant probably has no idea how much I enjoy chatting with him, or how he makes my days a little brighter. And I’m fine with that. But you know what? When I leave with my drink, I’m always smiling. And I think to myself that Texas isn’t such a lonely place as it sometimes seems.

We all have the ability to make a difference with small acts of kindness. It is within us to smile more, say hello, greet the people who cross our paths. We have the ability to make the world feel more friendly to someone else.

Today, I hope you will all be extra kind to one person. One is all it takes. And then stop by and tell me about it. 

By Comparison

A friend and I had a recent conversation about comparing ourselves to others. Doesn’t matter to whom, just that we have these tendencies. We all—every one of us—do it, whether we mean to or not.

We compare ourselves as wives, as mothers, as daughters, as housekeepers, as beauty queens, as authors (yeah, even if you aren’t one), as scholars, as… everything. It’s so easy to look at those around us and see their strengths as our faults. Or if not faults, at least something different than what they really are.

That person is thinner than me.

That one is more beautiful.

That person is stronger, is more fit.

That person is smarter.

That person must be better at ____ because they are on the path to (or have already found) success.

On my best day, I couldn’t even compare to____.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Life is about progress, about moving forward and growing as a person with each new day. There are no two people on this whole entire planet who have the exact same lives or circumstances. Think about it. There are billions of people on earth. And no one—NO ONE—is the same as anyone else. So why do we torture ourselves with comparisons?

I could look at the career paths of 500 different authors, and they are all different. Does that mean I’m not as good an author as them? Or that I should try to be like them? Or that I should want to? No, it does not. What it means (at least to me) is that each of them had the determination, the strength, the timing, the work, the…whatever else was necessary, to move forward on their path.

And guess what? I have that too. The difference is that I am me, and they are them, and we will never, ever be the same. And that’s how it should be.

Success isn’t just a destination, it’s a journey, an individual one. When and how and where we finally reach our final goal may be a complete mystery, but that’s the beauty of it. Don’t you think? A gift we an anticipate, a final outcome we will be individually proud of because no one knows more than us just what it took to get to that point.

And that, my friends, will make it all the more sweet. Don’t you think?

Smokin Hot Date

**Oh, and don't forget to pop over to Star Crossed and check out my review of Dearly Departed, by Tristi Pinkston. Such a fun book!  

Last weekend, I had a hot date with a younger man. Seventeen-years-old, just about six-feet tall, spiky brown hair, light blue eyes, plays the guitar, and also an amazing artist. Total babe.

Well, okay. He’s totally my babe. As in, my son.

Here’s how the date came to be: he came home from school one day and says, “Mom, guess what?”

Me *going through the mail and somewhat distracted*: “Hm?”

Him: “You know how you really wanted to see Phantom of the Opera at the school, but it’s sold out?”

Me *looking up*: “Yeah.”

Him *holding up two tickets*: “Look what I got?”

Me: *eyebrows raised* “How’d you get those?”

Him: “I have my ways. I know you really wanted to see it, so I’m going to take you. Wanna go with me?”

Me *heart melts cuz my son is so thoughtful*: “Um, YEAH!”

So he took the evening off work and we went to see a sold-out showing of Phantom of the Opera at the local high school. (BTW, the cast was Am.Az.Ing. Those kids can SING!) And then we got ice cream at Sonic, because that’s the only way to end a great date with such a studly man.

Proof positive that some teenagers still enjoy spending time with their parents. And also, that they can be conscious of our needs and desires and make them a priority, even if the occasions are rare.

My son only has the rest of this school year, and then one more before he graduates. I can only hope I’ll have more moments like that before he does.

Have you witnessed a teenager going out of his or her way to do something thoughtful for his or her parents lately? I’d love to hear about it.

**Oh, and don't forget to pop over to Star Crossed and check out my review of Dearly Departed, by Tristi Pinkston. Such a fun book!