Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

All The Best Laid Plans, Part I

I’ve decided not to make resolutions this year. It’s not that I don’t have goals—I have more goals this year than I think I ever have. It’s more that in the last three years, I’ve learned some pretty massive lessons about how easily all the best laid plans can be derailed.

Sometimes you have to let go of your own plans and ride the waves of circumstance until you can touch the ground once again.

For instance, at the beginning of 2014, I planned to write at least three books, go to several conferences in Texas, some in Utah, and one in Kansas and work toward building my career. I planned to blog every week and spend more time at the beach and read more books.

But stuff happened. 

1.       In January, I made an emergency trip to Utah for a funeral—the loss of a dear friend’s husband, who died too young.
2.       I spent February and March finishing edits on Birthright, and got it finished just barely on time for publication.
3.       In April, I traveled to Utah for a conference, where I spent just under two weeks so I could also deal with some family issues.
4.       In May, my oldest daughter graduated high school and my husband and his officers had a homicide case that blew wide open.
5.       In June, that homicide case took over our lives until the suspect was apprehended, and that same weekend, my husband was offered a fantastic job back in Utah.
6.       By July, we listed our house, packed up everything we own, and moved across the country. Again.
7.       In August, we unloaded into our current house (a temporary rental), my husband started his new job, and I moved my oldest daughter to Orlando, Florida where she is attending school.
8.       In September, I swore my life would calm down so I could finally do some writing, but then… we discovered a leak in our kitchen.
9.       In October, our landlords finally got around to investigating the leak, which led to mold and a full-scale kitchen renovation that was not complete until the week of Thanksgiving, and was distracting enough that my writing concentration was completely shot.
10.   This brings me to December. I put up my tree and hung the garland. I began my shopping. I bought my daughter a plane ticket to come home. I was prepared for full-scale holiday celebrating. And then my father-in-law died, and there was another funeral, estate details to work out, and grief to deal with.

The thing about death and grief, and also stress, is that it changes your priorities. In the cases of several of these events, writing fell way down the priority scale. My family is more important than my deadlines, and so in all of these cases, they have taken the front seat. I didn't read more books, and I sucked at blogging, and I didn't write nearly as much as I wanted. And you know what? That's okay. I could not have planned for last year.

What about you? What in your life is more important than your personal goals and deadlines?

*This blog turned out to be pretty long, so I’ve split it into two. To be continued next week.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Why I’m not Making New Year’s Goals for 2014.

Yeah, you read that right. I’m not posting a list of tasks I intend to complete for 2014, or giving myself deadlines to accomplish those things.

It’s not that I don’t think making lists isn’t an important step in succeeding. I do. And it’s not that I don’t believe it’s absolutely necessary to have goals and ideas and plans for how to achieve those objectives. I do. In fact, I’ve made goals/lists every year for as long as I can remember.

It’s just that this year I’ve decided to do something a little different. After November’s epic NaNo failure, I learned a very important lesson. Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes we have to be flexible and adjustable and learn how to adapt. 2013 was one of those years for me. 2014 might be another. We’ll see.

*cue over-played theme song*

I came in like a wrecking ball…

I still have goals. And hopes. And plans. But this year, rather than a list of goals, I’ve made…wait for it…

Resolutions.

Uh, what? Yeah. Resolutions. Check it out.

I resolve to:

See more good in people.

Respond to rudeness with kindness.

Be more patient, accepting, and tolerant of others.

Not compare myself to other people, or my life-path to anyone else’s life path.

Be a better listener.

Be forgiving of my own flaws, and remember that flaws make us unique.

Write something meaningful and lasting.

Read more books.

Write more words.

Learn how to share what I know with others in an entertaining, informative way.

Find the humor in all things.

Laugh every day.

Do something terrifying and exhilarating and wonderful.


There are other things I hope to accomplish this year. Practical things. Business-minded things. Personal achievement things. But as I think about it, I’ve decided that this list is the more important one, the one that deserves my focus. The one list that might truly make 2014 my best year yet.


Have you resolved anything like this? 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

New Year’s Revolution


Well, that does it. 2012 is officially over. I have taken down my holiday décor, changed my Christmas ringtone back to a non-holiday song, and even reset my playlists. And I’m trying to get my new house (the temporary rental) semi-decorated now that there is a tree-sized hole in the room around which the current décor seems to revolve. Funny how that happens when you move over the holidays.

But in the process, I got thinking about resolutions and revolutions and change. Things that always tend to come up in January.

First, I thought about resolutions. And how my life has been so dramatically upset in the last six months, that I don’t think I could handle much more change. And then I thought, well, of course I can handle it. I just hope it’s good change. The kind that means forward progress.

It’s what I hope. And that’s my goal for the year. To move forward and progress in all areas of my life. No resolutions needed.

It’s my personal revolution to take 2013 by the hair and drag it along behind me.

What about you? What are your personal goals for the year?  

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Kind of Resolutions

Oh yes, it may be a trendy thing. I have lots of goals this year, too. But more importantly, I have resolutions.

What’s the difference? Hm. I think goals are like targets for which you can aim. For instance, go to the gym four times a week, polish two manuscripts and draft a third, send at least 100 queries (or find an agent or get a deal, whichever comes first), read 75 books, learn to scuba dive. Stuff like that.

But a resolution is more of a state of mind, a type of behavior, a change to the very way we act.

Over the holidays, I’ve had a lot of time to think about people. About human beings and our different conditions and circumstances. I think part of my thinking was spurred on by L.T. Elliot’s post about being capsized. But that’s not where it began. I think it started a long time ago, and was brought into sharp relief over the holidays.

And so I’ve made a different list of resolutions this year. I hope some of you will join me.

1. Love. Love everyone I should, and even some I shouldn’t, and love hard, because you never know when the important people in your life won’t be there anymore.

2. Forgive. Even the people who don’t deserve it. Because holding onto anger and hate only serves to make us miserable. And no one wants to be miserable.

3. Give. Give back to the world, give up impossible expectations, give of myself, and give something my all.

4. Create. Happiness, dreams, and the kind of life I really want to live. Because happiness starts from within, and must be created first within our hearts.

5. Dance. Alone, with a group, with people I love, as well as strangers. Because dancing, well. It’s fun. And healthy. And it makes me feel amazing.

6. Sing. Because I like it. Because I can. And really, besides myself, who’s listening anyway?

7. Jump. Off a cliff, into the water, into new ideas and out of old habits. Just jump.

8. Smile. At everyone. Even when they make me mad. Because everyone has bad days, and a smile might make things better.

9. Shop. For the best possible deals—some of the best things in life come free.

10. Ride. The wave fate has thrown for me. And never let it suck me under. I AM strong.

So now you know my plans for 2012. Which do you think are more important, goals or resolutions? What are some of yours?

Monday, December 27, 2010

Five Minutes A Day

Have you ever listened to your favorite song while also reading the lyrics? It seems to me that music tends to be the truest, the most profound expression of experience and emotion available to us in short increments.

Well, okay, there is poetry too. But what is music if not poetry sung to a tune?

If you read the words as they’re sung aloud they often take on a whole new meaning. This past week I have found it to be true of my favorite Christmas songs, as well as others I listen to throughout the year.

Have you ever taken time to sit still and just listen to one song without distraction? If nothing else, it’s a great way to clear your mind and help hone your ability to focus. And the best part is it only requires 3-5 minutes out of your day.

Go now, take five minutes and try it. I’ll wait.

*hums a tune*

What did you learn? Will taking five minutes a day help you keep a calm, focused frame of mind? If you were to allow yourself this much time each day, how would your life, your job, your relationships improve?

Well. You never know until you try it, right? Here we go. Resolution number one. Allow myself 3-5 minutes of personal focus time every single day.

What’s something you’re planning that will improve your life this year?