Booing Never Helps Anyone

Dudes! Monday. MONday. MONDAY! My cover reveal happens on MONDAY! I am very excited about this. It makes me want to cheer and dance and sing. I believe I shall do all three.

*cheers*

*dances*

*sings and sings and sings*

I hope you’ll stop by one of the participating blogs and say hi.

On a different subject, I want to talk for a minute about children and sports, and how it’s possible to sabotage a child’s chance for success.

As a parent, I want my kids to do well in their sport of interest. Be that sport basketball, soccer, chess, art, or basket-weaving. I want them to get to do that thing, or play that sport, as often and as well as they can. And I want them to be happy doing it.

To me, that means cheering for them when they do well. And perhaps offering pointers when they don’t. Pointers being constructive criticism of the non-damaging variety. As in: Hey, that was a great shot you took. Maybe next time you can try doing it like…xyz. It does not now, nor will it ever mean yelling profanities, or screaming about what they’ve done wrong or uttering, yelling, or even thinking, the word, “Boo.”

And yet. I know a lot of parents who do. I sit in the stands and hear them booing their kids, and their kids’ teammates and the coach and the referees. And then they start back on the kids. These people do this from the position of sideline spectator, in the presence of other parents and spectators.

I hear them booing their kids and glare at them, and on occasion, manage to restrain myself from punching those parents. Because I believe that booing a person will never, ever, ever, ever help them improve anything. It will never make them better. Ever. Ever. Ever. But it will destroy their self confidence, and possibly sabotage their ability to continue.

I am the parent who yells and cheers and screams for the good things players do, whose goal is to build them up and make them love to play, regardless of whether they win or lose. (And it’s possible I’m the parent who is gaining a reputation for giving the death glare to the above-mentioned spectators. Because, seriously, who would want to keep playing while their own parents are up there booing them off the field?)

The point is, I challenge you all to resolve to be that person (parent or not) who always cheers for the good things, and never boos the mistakes. To my knowledge, booing has never helped anyone.

Thanks for listening. Off my soapbox.

See you Monday!  

Out of the Ashes

Last weekend my family and I went on a day trip that involved driving past an area where a wildfire had recently burned. This same fire destroyed a number of homes, cabins, and other buildings. Among the structures burned was my dad’s cabin.

For my dad and step-mom, this was more than the loss of a beloved vacation spot. It was a place they’d built by hand, from the ground up, with more than fifteen years of weekends and days off dedicated to the creation of the beautiful family getaway. And it was truly, truly beautiful.

As we drove, the areas most affected by the fire were apparent by the blackened stumps and skeletons of trees. But I was surprised to see that even though so much had been burned, there were many places in which we could distinctly see green grass shoots poking through the dark ground.

It reminded me that the cabin is just a place. And while it was a place that meant a lot to my parents, they’re already drafting plans to rebuild. There is nothing left on their property. Not a single tree or plant or building footing. They see this as a chance to start over and do things better the second time. A blank slate. Not a lot of people have opportunities like that.

Bad things happen. They happen to EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe or how you act or how hard you try to be the best person you can be—bad things sometimes happen. To all of us. And it’s up to us to decide how we’ll react to those things. If we’ll let them mold us into better, stronger people, or if we’ll let them knock us down, stomp us into the ground to become bitter, angry, and miserable.

When bad things happen, what parts of you will rise out of the ashes?

The Other Side of the Failure Forest

Remember this post when we talked about how success changes people? I’m still thinking about that, and it occurs to me that there’s another side of this coin. Not everyone succeeds. Some people change their goals completely, go in different directions, or flat out fail altogether.

Let’s face it. Just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re supposed to get it. Just because we hope doesn’t make our desired outcome best for us. And just because we fight doesn’t mean we’re going to win, or even that we should.

When this happens, when we adjust our thought processes, daily habits, and goals in order to reorganize the paths our lives are taking, how much does this change us?

I mean, yes, obviously we should (theoretically) be stronger for the lessons we’ve learned along the way. But after we discover that maybe we’re not cut out for that thing for which we’ve been reaching, or maybe that we’ve been reaching in the wrong direction—do you think that changes us too?

We all have a different purpose in life, different talents, different needs and desires and abilities, so it makes total sense that we’d have individual paths to success. And along the way we ALL experience failure of some sort or another.

The question is how will we deal with it?

Will we let our disappointment swallow us whole? Will we let hurt bury us? Will we allow heartache to still our hands and minds and creative process until we work no more?

OR.

Will we rise above it, set a new path, pick ourselves up, and start again?

Once again, I think it comes down to choices. We get to choose how we react to these circumstances. We get to choose what we do next. We get to choose which road to take at the next fork.

Me? I have decided that just because I only see two roads doesn’t mean I can’t forge my own path. And that, my friends, is EXACTLY what I intend to do.

See you on the other side of the forest.

Attracting Positive Energy

The other day, someone paid me a really nice compliment. She told me that good things happen to me because I am always so positive. It was kind of an offhanded comment, which made it mean all the more.

I believe that we attract the same kind of energy we put out, so if we put out positive energy, that is what we will attract—what will be drawn toward us.

For instance, if you believe in the parking fairy, she’ll work for you and make sure you get good parking spaces most of the time. And if you try hard to always see the good in people, situations, and circumstances, good things will come to you, largely because you’re LOOKING for them.

What do you think? Am I crazy, or does positive + positive = WOWZA?