Things I don’t know

I’m a writer. An author. And not only do I openly admit it, but I talk about my writing and my hopes and dreams quite a lot. And in very public forums. (Like blogging.) Because I’ve been into this for a while, people have a tendency to ask me things. Sometimes, I have answers, but more often than not, I don’t. Not yet, anyway.

There are a lot of things I don’t know.

1. How do you get an agent?
(Um, I can tell you how I’m trying, but since I have yet to be successful in this never-ending endeavor, I might not be the best person to ask.)

2. When is your next book coming out?
(Hm. I’d love to say 2013, but since I’m not feeling the self-publishing vibe, I have no idea.)

3. How does a midlist book make the bestseller lists?
(My guess: good writing, strong word of mouth, and some brilliant marketing from the author. But I’ve never been there, so…I couldn’t really tell you for sure.)

4. How can I make a living as a writer?
(Uh, I’ll have to get back to you on that. As soon as I find the secret, I’ll be happy to share it, because I’m nice like that.)

5. How long are you planning to keep writing / submitting?
(Indefinitely. Because I’ve tried to quit. A few times. Recently, even. Never works for long, so I guess I’ll write forever.)

6. Who is your favorite author?
(Answering this question would be like diving into the ocean and trying to pinpoint a favorite starfish. But I have a particular love for young adult authors these days, so I guess I could start there.)

7. Where did you learn how to write?
(Everywhere. Practice. Lots and lots of practice, and classes, and critique groups, and conferences. But again, see the above questions. It’s entirely possible that I don’t know how to write—maybe that’s why I don’t have an agent and/or book deal and am not making a living as a writer.)

But even with all the stuff I don’t know, there are a few things I do know.

1. I will never get to where I want to be if I don’t try.

2. Trying sometimes = failing a whole lot of times.


3. Winner/ loser/ reject: there are people in my life who will always be there, and they will love me anyway.

4. People will always be more important than money or deals or success.

5. I am the only person who can decide how I act, how I treat others, and how much I value the relationships in my life.

6. I have written a number of full-length novels. Someday they will be read by people who need to read them. It’s okay if that someday is far away.

7. Even though I am not necessarily where I want to be in my writing career, I am already successful. I have done things most people will never even attempt. I have met people and formed relationships, and experienced things I didn’t even dream when I was young. And I am teaching my kids the value of the phrase never give up.

8. Someday, I WILL have the answers to the questions on my don’t list.

Sometimes what we know and what we don’t is a matter of perspective.

The Things that Matter Most

I recently listened to a speech given by a man who is a well known and highly prolific author. This man has been hugely and highly successful in his field. In large part, this has had to do with his ability to take on every project or idea ever thrown at him, which has—in turn—given him the opportunity to produce as many as four-six bestsellers EACH YEAR.

Wow, right?

But as I listened to this man speak, I found myself pondering my own abilities and what assignments like his could do to my private and personal life.

Truth=I wouldn’t have one.

As much as I want to write bestselling novels, or make a living as a writer, or, heck, even get another novel published—there are things I want even more. Things that are eternally more important to me.

My children. My husband. Other people who are an important part of my daily life. Even my writer friends.

The central theme here is people, which basically breaks down to relationships. And relationships with people take work. And time. And the ability to give back to others—something I don’t know how I would be able to do, were I to take on so much huge responsibility as the man I heard speaking.

Granted, I write a lot. Every day, I dedicate a certain amount of time to my career as an author. I’m good with deadlines, speed-writing, and knowing what to give up and when to get my stuff done. But I also know my limits.

As much as I’m happy for the success of the above mentioned speaker, I don’t envy him. Clearly, he’s really good at working with his hands full. Good for him that he can pull it off and still manage to have a wife and kids.

Unfortunately, I am not like that. I need my sleep. And my family. And at the end of the day, I will always choose to prioritize relationships. If that means I can only write one, or two, or three bestsellers a year, well. I’m okay with that.  

Because even though writing is an important part of my life—there are other things that matter more.

What about you? What are your priorities?

Escaping into Books and Movies

Last week as I spent time with my family, grieving, and remembering, and saying goodbye, I realized why books and movies will never truly go out of style. More than just forms of entertainment, they are a means of escape, a way of stepping out of or away from the stresses or hardships of every day life.

Funny thing: As we spent the day at the hospital on Monday and Tuesday, there were at least two copies of MOCKINGJAY in the waiting room, along with two or three other books brought by various members of my family. (Yes, we pretty much dominated the room—large families tend to do that.) Not that any of us read much, but we all had that desire, that need, and at one point or another, we all tried.

Friday after the funeral , I had this intense urge to go to a movie. Something funny, happy. Something that would make me laugh. Not because I didn’t respect all the funeral proceedings or the fact that so many people were grieving, but more because I was also grieving and needed an escape. A laugh. A release other than tears. (Okay, also, I wanted salty theater popcorn.)

Books and movies offer an opportunity to step out of one world and live in another, for just a few hours at a time. Regardless of what’s happening in our lives, the break we get from stepping temporarily away helps give us perspective and new clarity of mind.

Isn’t that the whole point? I mean really, that is why we read, right? To step into someone else’s world, experience life through someone else’s eyes. To gain knowledge from someone else’s experience. To grab hold of someone else and ride the roller coaster with them—even though we know these people aren’t real. We feel what they feel, want what’s best for them, and more importantly, we want the best possible outcome for their situation and conflict.

And at the end, we’re able to close the book and move on, get back on track with reality, hopefully rested enough from the issues in our own lives that we’re able to focus and progress.

Have you found this to be true for you as well? I’d like to know how reading has helped you escape.