Totally Random Thoughts (October 2013 Edition)

Fear happens when we have something to lose. So how brave would we be if we believed—even for just one day—that we would win?

Trust is a gift of faith that is, more often than not, destroyed by imagination and insecurity, rather than reality.

A hero is someone who you know will always show up for you, even when they can’t necessarily save you or your world.

The most popular TV shows, movies, and books elicit strong emotions from people watching/reading. It is those strong emotions, along with strong questions, that keep us those characters in our heads, feeding our need to continue returning to watch the next episode, sequel, or volume. Or, barring that, it feeds our desire to continue watching or reading things by those same creators.

Sometimes a walk on the beach or a drive to nowhere is the best way to see the best parts of the world.

Any thoughts you’d like to add?

Oh, Powerful Words

“Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.”  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Such a true statement. Words used for good can move people to action, can change lives, or at the very least, the way we think. Positive words can gift people with confidence and happiness, and most importantly, the right words have the ability to give people hope.

And hope is one of life’s most powerful emotions.

Conversely, words used for evil can cut out hearts, start wars, fights, divorce, create anger, or destroy a person’s self confidence.  

And for some, anger is more powerful than hope.

One of the most important functions of writers is to learn how to pull emotions—like hope and anger, love and hate, happiness and misery—out of our readers. But this skill also tends to be helpful in our everyday lives. For everyone, not just writers.

How have someone else’s words affected you lately? How have your words affected someone else? 

When it’s Okay to Quit

Yes, I said it. That horribly offensive, terribly bad word I’ve spent so many years warning you to avoid. And I’m going to say it again in this post. But don’t worry, it’s not what you think.

After seven years of writing, submitting, querying, rejections…last week, I decided to quit.

Granted, I’m not crazy enough to even pretend to believe that I could stop for good. But I gave myself permission to take a much needed break. No matter that I didn’t realize (at the time) that was what I needed most. After an epic meltdown, I realized I was being way too hard on myself, and that I was requiring more than I could give, physically or emotionally.

So I quit. And I haven’t written anything (aside from email, and now this blog) since.

I’ve caught up on some sleep, seen The Hunger Games movie twice, finished a book on my to-be-read pile and started another one, washed all the clothes in my laundry room (a major feat, FYI), mopped my kitchen floor, and had lunch with some really incredible friends. Also, I threw my daughter a huge birthday party.

All that in a few days. And guess what? I’m feeling better. Maybe not quite ready to dedicate myself to writing the way I have been, but better. I’ll get back to it. I will. You all know I’m really not a quitter. But even the most determined of us need to take mental, emotional, and physical breaks every so often.

And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay to be human. Because, really, being robots doesn’t sound like much fun.

So tell me. When’s the last time you decided to take a break?

Emotionally Driven

Guess what? I just finished a fifth (or sixth?) draft of a manuscript. That makes two solid edits I’ve finished this year—and it’s not even February yet!

*dances around*

Also, I’m working on an outline for another idea. I’ve decided to take a different approach with this one, since it’s going to be for a different audience than my other work. I’m reading publisher websites, requirements, requests, that sort of thing. Also, I’m paying attention to what people in that target audience are reading.

I’m not surprised by what I see.

In all my research, in all genres of YA and adult material, there is one thing that will always have an audience, no matter the story. Emotion.

Stories that are emotionally driven will always have readers because emotion is something with which everyone can identify and which we all feel. Romance, love, anger, hate, happiness, contentment, fear, triumph—these are the feelings we experience every day, and also the ones our favorite characters experience in our favorite stories.

What are your favorite emotionally driven story lines?

Heart Breakers

I’ve decided that every kid is destined to have their heart broken by an adult at least once before they grow up. I’m not talking about, you know, being told they have to clean their rooms, or even feeling lied to about the possible existence of a certain white-haired-jolly man who wears a red suit.

No, I’m talking about kids trusting certain adults in their lives—be they teachers, scout leaders, clergy, sports coaches, whoever—who make promises or give expectations, but do not follow through. Who humiliate or hurt for reasons that kid will never understand. Every one of my kids has experienced this, and I’m telling you now, it’s a keen kind of let down, a heartache that you would never expect possible.

How does this happen?

I don’t know. Maybe sometimes it’s accidental. Those times don’t seem to hurt quite as bad as the ones that are on purpose. And believe me, it hurts the parents as much as the child. (Sometimes, that might be the point, which makes it even worse.)

But it must be necessary to the growth of the child, their personal journey. It must. How else would any adult justify making a kid feel like they’re worthless? Like their best isn’t good enough? Like they’re less important, less liked than their peers?

They don’t. There is no justification. NONE.  

But it happens just the same. So what do we do about it? We get out the voodoo dolls, buy the kid prizes, love them through it.

Also, we have a very important chat, which I will discuss on Wednesday, because otherwise this post will be holy-wow-long. In the meantime, I’d like to know. Have you experienced this yourself or with your kids? And how did you handle it?

*In case you're wondering, this discussion will tie into writing, but not until Friday. Keep reading!

A Gift No One Else Can Give

I don't believe in coincidence. At least, that's what I told the owner of the body shop where my car was fixed a few weeks ago. Timing, yes. Karma, definitely. But coincidence? Not so much. I just have a strong sense of things happening for a reason.

Usually, I can deal with events that might seem like a coincidence or whatever. I don't generally need an explanation for why something happens one way or another, or why the timing of two events coincide--either terribly or beautifully. It just is.

But I do believe in Irony. It hits me in the face almost daily lately. It's ironic what happened after I wrote and scheduled Monday's post about Mockingjay and how it made me feel. Raw and emotional. Sadness and peace. Hopeful and achy all at once.

There I was, typing along and pondering all these emotions, when I got one of those calls. The kind we all dread, telling us that someone we love has been severely injured or worse. In my case, this person is my twenty-one-year old step-brother Justin. He was seen skateboarding, hitting a bump or rock, and flying backward where his head--no helmet--hit the pavement. Someone stopped to help, called an ambulance, but it was already too late for Justin.

No Helmet. No brain activity. Alive, with no chance he'd ever come back.

He's had such a hard life in his short twenty-one years, lived through a tremendous amount of heartache, difficulty, and addiction. But while his loss leaves us all achy and raw, his generosity will give others hope.

Justin was an organ donor.

The damage from the accident was mainly in his brain. All his other organs are intact, whole, vital. In Justin's death, many other lives will potentially be saved or made better. He will now give other people a gift no one else could offer, the gift of life. And Justin will finally have the opportunity to be at peace.

Is it ironic that this week in our local news there has been a rash of freak accidents, shot police officers, and unexplained deaths? I don't know. But I do feel strongly that Justin's time on earth has come to an end. Whatever happened on that hill, happened because it was his time to go home.

Just as it's someone else's time to live. To have hope. And to move on.

Give someone else hope. Be an organ donor.