When to Stand Up

Yeah, apparently I’m still on that introspective-thinking-about-life kick. No worries, though, it’s not directed at anyone, I promise. I sometimes get this way in the winter. Probably my version of Seasonal Affect Disorder or whatever it’s called. (Have I mentioned I’m not a winter person?)

Anyway, on Monday I posted some rhetorical questions about people and labels and misconceptions. As you might have guessed, I actually have quite a lot of experience in this field. Not a bad thing, I assure you.

I’ve always been that person who liked to root for the underdog, the cheerleader of dreamers, the YES person. You know?

*shakes pom poms* Rah rah rah!

But being that doesn’t necessarily make me deaf, or blind, or...less observant than usual. It just means that I choose to not let the cynics of the world dictate my happiness. In this same vein, neither will I allow rumors or untruths or misconceptions go ignored to the point of damage.

Okay, wait, that’s not true. It’s all damaging to some degree. So let me reword that. I won’t allow it to directly damage me or the people I love without stepping in and attempting to pacify the situation.

The other day I stumbled onto Kelly Mortimer's blog, where the (agent)blog author discusses the importance of standing up to bullies who are attempting to steal your hard-earned chocolate milk. Her post made me really think, since I have recently encountered similar difficulties as the ones she mentions. 

I think, for me, what it comes down to is consequence. What will be the consequence of standing up, as opposed that of remaining sitting? Who will be hurt, how will they be hurt, and will that hurt accomplish anything good?

Again, rhetorical questions, because every situation is different. But I’m back to labels. Which labels are okay to keep, and which ones do we put ourselves out there to shed? And why?

Mislabeled

I think writers, by nature, tend to be observers. Well, okay, I can’t really speak for the rest of the writing community, but it seems a common trait among my friends. And it’s definitely true for me. I pay attention and often catch things most other people miss.

Like nuances of speech, the way strangers (or acquaintances) react to things people thoughtlessly spout (be they positive or negative in nature), and the possible differences in a sports team when they come out of the locker room after halftime. Maybe they’re pumped up again, or maybe they’re down and out. It all depends on the coaches’ mood, the words they used, and how those words were delivered.

I notice, for instance, the way people look away from one another when they’re telling a lie, or how they plead with their eyes when they’re telling a painful truth. And while I believe what other people think of me is none of my business, it’s sometimes hard to miss an emotion or thought when it travels across their faces and into their body language.

Once someone forms an opinion of another, it’s not an easy thing to change. Out of those formed opinions come misconceptions that turn into rumors, and rumors turn into stories, and stories into actions that may, or may not, be warranted.

This is the stuff of interest we read about in novels, be they fiction or nonfiction. In many instances, it’s the beginning of conflict. The catalyst, if you will.

Luckily, fiction and real life are two totally different things. The question is where will we allow our misconceptions, our preconceived judgments, or our unnoticed observations to lead us? Will we be the spreaders of rumors? The instigators of unwarranted arguments? The pot-stirrers in the mix?

Or will we find it in us to take a step back and observe the truth for what it is? People for who they truly are rather than what we (or others) have made them out to be? What will be the ending to our personal stories, and who will ultimately decide?

Do we become the person other people think they see, or do we try to correct their misconception? Or do we continue on with our own lives, ignoring the untruths and allowing those people to live as they choose?

For once, my above questions are rhetorical. I don’t know that anyone truly has all the answers. But I am curious. Have you ever felt labeled for reasons you couldn’t name?