Heart Breakers

I’ve decided that every kid is destined to have their heart broken by an adult at least once before they grow up. I’m not talking about, you know, being told they have to clean their rooms, or even feeling lied to about the possible existence of a certain white-haired-jolly man who wears a red suit.

No, I’m talking about kids trusting certain adults in their lives—be they teachers, scout leaders, clergy, sports coaches, whoever—who make promises or give expectations, but do not follow through. Who humiliate or hurt for reasons that kid will never understand. Every one of my kids has experienced this, and I’m telling you now, it’s a keen kind of let down, a heartache that you would never expect possible.

How does this happen?

I don’t know. Maybe sometimes it’s accidental. Those times don’t seem to hurt quite as bad as the ones that are on purpose. And believe me, it hurts the parents as much as the child. (Sometimes, that might be the point, which makes it even worse.)

But it must be necessary to the growth of the child, their personal journey. It must. How else would any adult justify making a kid feel like they’re worthless? Like their best isn’t good enough? Like they’re less important, less liked than their peers?

They don’t. There is no justification. NONE.  

But it happens just the same. So what do we do about it? We get out the voodoo dolls, buy the kid prizes, love them through it.

Also, we have a very important chat, which I will discuss on Wednesday, because otherwise this post will be holy-wow-long. In the meantime, I’d like to know. Have you experienced this yourself or with your kids? And how did you handle it?

*In case you're wondering, this discussion will tie into writing, but not until Friday. Keep reading!

Give Us an Anchor

Okay, before I forget. This weekend there a HUGE, massive author signing event happening at Barnes and Noble in Orem. (330 East 1300 South, University Crossings Plaza, Orem, UT) This event goes from 1-4 pm. AuthorPalooza = 40+ authors (including yours truly), lots of books, bookish-type fans and bloggers, bookmarks and treats. Come check us out and buy some autographed books. You know you want to.

New topic:

The other day I was helping my daughter with her creative writing homework. She was having an issue with pronouns and split infinitives, and we ended up in a discussion about how stories have to be clear. You can’t just expect people to assume that the super hero is a good super hero unless you say so. Unless you tell the readers he is actually punching the villain as opposed to the elderly lady the SH is supposed to be saving.

This discussion included me asking her something like fifty questions about her 500 word story. What was the old lady doing while this happened? Where is this happening? Are there other people around? Witnesses maybe? What do the main characters look like? How do they feel? What are they thinking? What happens next? What are the consequences to the actions of the hero? The lady? The villain?

Her answers continued to be a baffled, “I don’t know.” To which I then replied, “Well, if you’re going to write a story about these people, you should.”

Or she would answer, “The old lady is running away, of course. Everyone knows that.”

I had to explain, “No, everyone doesn’t know that. Not unless you tell them. That’s your job as the storyteller.”

Short lesson of the day. Just because we—as writers or authors—see things happening a certain way in our heads, doesn’t mean our readers understand that vision. It’s up to us to paint a clear picture of setting, characterization, and plot. Good writing requires that the readers feel anchored and secure within the pages of your book.

So. Do you agree? Disagree? Think I’m nuts? Discuss.