Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Never Say Die

I’m totally watching Goonies as I write this. One of my favorite movies from my childhood. A bunch of great one-liners.

Remember these ones? “Goonies never say die.”


“Up there it’s their time, but down here it’s our time.”

I think those two lines are relevant to Monday’s post. I had another blog all scheduled for today, but after some of Monday’s comments, I had to touch on this subject once more. (Well, I didn’t have to, per se, but I wanted to, so.)

The thing is, about the time we’ve spent a handful of years working hard, paid a small fortune towards education, and maybe even started families, we’ve unknowingly somehow lost that childlike confidence we had as teens. It’s not something any one person did to us, or even something I think we can avoid necessarily. Life happens. Sometimes things suck. We have to learn, and so learn we do. Up here, it’s our time.

But down there, in teen-ager-hood, life is all about who likes who and who said what on FB, and who attended what party and who got arrested for possession (yes, I said possession). But that’s not all. It’s also about discovering their strengths, their interests, and at some point, figuring out what they really truly want to do with their lives. A great many of them make a lot of these discoveries through books, music, arts, sports, and other mediums often explored in the halls of a high school. But those mediums can only take them so far.

That’s where we—the parents and grownups in their lives—come in. Regardless of what we have chosen for our life paths, we have the power to give them the tools they need to choose their own. By taking risks, by working hard, by doing all the hard things we never thought possible, we teach them by example to never stop pursuing that dream—however elusive it may seem. And rather than telling them, “That’s too hard,” or, “You’re not good enough,” maybe we should be telling them, “It’ll be a lot of work, but you can handle it,” and, “Keep going. I believe in you.”

It’s a win-win, don’t you think? Because we all need someone to believe in us, someone who will remind us to never say die.

Who is that someone for you?


Christine Fonseca said...

Love this post! Definitely m family is that person. But soare my amazing writerly and RL friends. I am truly blessed!!! Thanks for the reminder.

Angela Felsted said...

Great post! I totally think parents and teachers play a big role in boosting confidence rather than putting a damper on it. Have you heard of "learned helplessness?"

It has to do with refusing to try because a person is so scared of failing.

Julie said...

I love this post! We have so many choices in life and the most important ones are to keep believing and to work hard for what we want.

And to Never Say Die! :)

Carolyn V. said...

That is a win/win. I have to say my parents and my hubby (we knew each other when we were he loves Goonies). =)

Elana Johnson said...

What a great post! We all definitely need someone to believe in us. Because sometimes it's so hard to see the forest for the trees. I believe in you, Nichole!

Jodi Brown said...

I love the Goonies and all the "invincibility" it entails. Who could ever forget the truffle shuffle? :) But more importantly, you hit on a crucial point. We used to think we were invincble, but sadly, we don't anymore. Thank heavens for the wonderful people who believe in us and buoy us up! For me, it is my hubby, my parents and my sisters! :)

Rachelle said...

Super insight here! I wish we could bottle that teenage confidence and spray it on in adulthood. That someone that believes in me is you, and my awesome critique group--thank you!!

David J. West said...

That would be my wife and kids.

GOONIES is one of our families favorite movies-but I have to catch my boys from repeating everything they hear.

Michael Knudsen said...

I'm with David. My wife and kids expect the best of me and I would hate to disappoint them. It's been great to write a novel and get it accepted for publication. One of the things I hope to accomplish is to show my kids how important it is to stick with their talents no matter how long it takes (here I am in my forties, finally getting a book published!)

Thanks Nichole for stopping by my blog earlier and commenting. I'm on board as a follower!

L.T. Elliot said...

My hubby is totally that person for me--in a way no one else can be.

As for the believing in our kids thing, I think it's the best gift you can give them. My sons are endless gardens even though they're only seeds right now. I just know it.